Nerves
by LyekkaBlack
Summary: The crew of the Andromeda are acting strange. Very strange, and Harper is the only one still sane enough to figure out what is going on. Or is he?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Nerves  
**Author:** Lyekka  
**Disclaimer:** Characters: Seamus Harper, Beka Valentine, Dylan Hunt, Rommie, Trance Gemini, Tyr Anasazi  
**Setting/Season**: Late Season 2ish Spoilers: Probably nothing you haven't already seen- Some S1 and early S2 stuff. Not much.  
**Warnings:** Uh, some yelling, cursing, **slight** Harper/Trance shipping, a cross-dressing Nietzschean and pointless silliness.  
**Summary:** The crew of the Andromeda are acting strange. Very, VERY strange, and it seems Harper is the only one keeping it vaguely under control enough to figure out whats going on.  
**A/N:** Yeah, I know the title is lame, but I couldn't think of anything else. I nicked the idea from an episode of Farscape "Crackers Don't Matter" as well as a few of the lines. Also may have taken one or two lines from THHGTTG and Stargate, which incidentally, I don't own either. I did try to keep most of it original though. P.S. Sorry for any technical goofs, we can't all be as smart as Harper. Also, I tried proof reading it, but I just know there's something I over looked. So, 'sorry' in advance.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"MR. HARPER!" Captain Dylan Hunt yelled over the comm. "We need slipstream, NOW!" Just as the ship was bombarded with more enemy fire.

"Really? Kinda figured that one out on my own, boss." Replied a frustrated Harper from Engineering.

He was tired, hungry, and in dire need of a Sparky Cola. But mostly, he was annoyed. The ship had sustained heavy damage recently and he had been working almost non-stop to see that she got fixed before more bad guys came along to shoot them up and he had to start all over. Unfortunately, the current attackers knew when and where to strike. They came out of slipstream and in one quick and decisive move, they had managed to disable the slip drive preventing the Andromeda from streaming away.

Now the engineer was frantically working to get slipstream back online, but it would take time. Time he knew perfectly well they didn't have, and Captain Terrific yelling at him to do the imposable was doing nothing to improve is mood. What did Dylanexpect him to do? Perhaps twitch his nose and fix the problem with magic. "You wanna come down here and see if you can do better?"

"Just fix it." A now angered Hunt demanded.

"No? Didn't think so. Look, if want me to work, then stop talking and LET ME WORK." The engineer returned before cutting the comm.

He needed to think. He was after all a genius. He could come up with a brilliant plan to save the day. He usually did. He just needed a minute. "I got nothing." He sighed a minute later.

"Harper." Andromeda's hologram appeared beside the console where Harper was now running a scan of the nearby sector. "You're supposed to be fixing my slipstream drive, not checking out the local scenery"

"Sorry, Rom-Doll, but that last hit put a crack in the GFG lens. It's small, but if we try streaming the whole thing could go. I'm gonna need some time to fix it. We're not going very far till then. And before you say what I know you're thinking, _'But, Harper, you're a young handsome super genius, surly you can fix anything_' Well, you're right. I am young. I am handsome and I _am_ a super genius, which is why we still have weapons, life support and most importantly, haven't been blown up yet."

"Harper." Holo-Rommie tried interrupting what was sure to be a lengthy rant.

Ignoring her, Harper went on "And you'd also be right to think that given enough time-"

"Harper."

"-and proper tools to work with, I really can fix _anything_. And I can fix slipstream too, but NOT when people keep shooting at us, no matter how many times Dylan orders it. Things don't just work 'cause ya tell'em to, ya know?"

"HARPER!"

"Huh?"

"First, I was NOT thinking any of those things." She put in before Harper could start talking again. "Second, as I'm sure you failed to notice during all your ranting, the enemy ships have stopped firing on me."

"Why?"

"Three ships were destroyed. The forth was badly damaged but made it to slipstream before-"

"You could finish it off?"

"...Well, I wouldn't put it that way in an official report, but yes." She answered. "Hey, I'm a warship. I blow things up. It's what I was designed to do. No one can judge me." She added seeing the smirk on the engineers face.

"Not if they know whats good for'em." Agreed Harper. "So, uh, do we know who our nice friends with the big guns were yet?"

"No, and Dylan would like you to report to Command with the rest of the crew, immediately." "But, I should"

"I've already done a damage assessment. My bots have began working to repair haul breaches and some of the other damaged areas. Dylan wants you on Command, now." She stated and blinked out before Harper could protest.

"Yeah, probably to tell me that I've got 'attitude issues' and threaten to throw me out an airlock." Harper grumbled and headed for Command.

* * *

Wanting to get to Command as quickly as he could in and attempt to avoid further angering Dylan, Harper ran most of the way and was quite out of breath when he arrived minutes later.

"Mr. Harper, did you run here?" The High Guard Captain questioned with mock concern on seeing his engineer breathless, red faced and sweaty. "You could have taken your time. I just wanted to tell you that we're heading for a nearby nebula. It should hide us from any unfriendly sensors, so you'll have time to make those repairs."

"That's...great...Super...Swell even. You couldn't have told be this over the comm?" Harper managed to get out.

"Well, I didn't want to risk bothering you again while you were working. You get _really_ mean."

"Dylan, we've entered the nebula. How far in do you want me to take her?" Beka asked from the pilot's station.

"Minimal safe distance. If this doesn't work, we may need to get out quick." Answered Dylan as Beka flew the ship deeper into the multi-coloured mist.

"And go where?" The grumpy engineer asked "If this doesn't work, we're screwed anyway."

No one heard him though. They were all momentarily enchanted by the swirling colours of the nebula the ship was passing through.

"It's beautiful." Remarked Trance.

"It is." Agreed Tyr. "Perhaps someone should keep an eye on the Little Professor, lest he should blow this one up."

"Oh sure, rub that in my face." Replied Harper. "And since when do _you_ find anything 'beautiful' Tyr?"

"One need only know how to look properly to see that all things have an inner beauty. Though for some, it is hidden more deeply then in others." Answered Tyr, moving closer to where Trance was now standing in front of the view screen.

"Er...'kay, that's..._weird_." Harper replied to Tyr's very un-Tyr like statement. "I better get started on those repairs then." He said, leaving Command before anyone could stop him and headed for Machine Shop 17.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Several hours and a dozen Sparky's later, an extremely exhausted and over worked Harper returned to his quarters to get some well deserved and much needed rest. No sooner had he closed his eyes and drifted off into blissful sleep did the blaring of loud Country-Western music from old Earth filled the room.

Waking with a start it took the engineer a minute to realize what the horrid noise that had rudely awoken him was.

"ROMMIE!" He yelling over the music. "TURN THIS CRAP OFF!"

He waited a minute, but the music continued to play. "HELLO? ANDROMEDA?"

She still didn't respond. Instead the music got louder. "ANDROMEDA"

Giving up, he decided to sleep in his old bunk on the Maru. Grabbing his favourite pillow he headed for the door and keyed the controls to open it. Nothing happened. He hit the controls again. Still, the door remained shut.

"ANDROMEDA, EITHER TURN OFF THIS NOISE OR OPEN THE FREAKIN' DOOR!"

She didn't respond.

"Okay, fine, I'll do it myself." He said, pulling a cable out of his picket. Putting one end of the cable to the door controls and the other into his dataport it only took a few seconds before the door slid open. Pocketing the cable again the engineer stepped out into the quiet corridor and made his way to the Hanger Bay that housed the Eureka Maru.

Whether because he had only slept three out of the past 72 hours or because he was annoyed with the rude wake up call, he was half way to the Hanger Bay before he realized the corridors were freezing.

"Andromeda." He called. "Is there something wrong with environmentals"

She didn't respond Sighing, he turned around and headed for Command. He didn't notice a strange colourful mist that was slow creeping through the corridor.

* * *

Upon arriving on the Command Deck, Harper was surprised to find Dylan, Beka and Rommie deep in what appeared to be a heated argument. An argument that abruptly stopped when they noticed he had entered.

"New friend?" Dylan asked, gesturing towards the pillow covered in pink fluffy bunnies Harper was absentmindedly hugging...tightly.

"Er, no." He respond, only slightly embarrassed. "Rommie, what the hell's going on with your systems?"

"My systems are functioning fine, given the circumstances." The avatar sweetly replied.

"Okay, so then _why_ was I just woken up by really loud music? And I'm being generous when I say 'music' by the way. _Why_ didn't you turn it off when I asked? _Why_ did you lock me in my quarters? And WHY is the ship so freakin' cold?"

"I thought you liked music." The android said with an unnatural simile on her face.

"Music, _yes_. Not insipid wailing. Especially when I'm trying to sleep."

"If you didn't like my selection, you could have asked me to play something else."

"I asked you to turn if _off_."

"Well, you should have said 'please' then." Rommie stated then quickly left Command without answering any more questions.

"Did I miss something?" He turned to face the Captain and XO, who seemed to be unbothered by the avatars behavior. "And whats with the secret gatherings on Command in the middle of the night? Something you do often?"

"I'm the Captain of this ship. I will be asking the questions here, young fellow." Stated Dylan. Standing at full height and puffing out his chest in a way he thought made him look more important, he asked "Now, do you, or do you not know the true identity of the one called Batman?"

"Er..."

"_I'M_ BATMAN!" Dylan yelled when Harper didn't answer in time. He then began running around Command flapping his arms about like a bat singing "_Dun na na na na na na, dun na na na na na na, BATMAN_"

"Wha...What's he doing?" A baffled Harper asked Beka.

"He's crazy. Insane. A few legs short of a whole Vedran. Completely lost it, he has. Now, come with me. We need to chat." She said, grabbing Harper by the arm and forcing him to walk with her out into the corridor.

"Where we going?"

"The Maru. That nosy bitch can't eavesdrop on us there."

"Nosy bitch?"

"Andromeda." Answered Beka. "She's always sticking her big nose in _our_ business."

Holo-Rommie appeared in the corridor. "I heard that."

"_See_?" Baka whispered to Harper.

"And I do not have a big nose, _Sasquatch_." Holo-Rommie said then blinked out just as Beka started taking pointless swings at the hologram.

"We have to hurry, it's not safe here." Beka whispered and pulled out her gauss gun. Holding her gun with one hand and taking ahold of Harper's shirt with the other, she started running to the Hanger Bay, dragging a reluctant Harper with her.

* * *

They got to the Hanger Bay and Beka quickly punched in the codes to open the Maru's airlock. After pulling Harper in she closed the airlock and made her way to the galley. Harper who was trying to straighten his now very wrinkled shirt followed.

"Beka, what's going on? You're seriously freaking me out."

"Sit down." The blonde captain instructed and pointed her gun at vacant stool. "Can I trust you, Harper?"

He sat down. "Of course you can trust me, boss."

"Then hand over your little bunny pillow, and we'll talk"

"...OK" He handed her his pillow. "It's name's Blinky, by the way."

"Good boy. Now, I'm trusting you, Harper. If you betray that trust" She pointed her gun and the pillow. "Blinky gets it. Got it?"

"You can trust me."

"Alright then. I'm not sure if you noticed, but people have started acting a bitoff around here"

"_Yeah_, I noticed that."

"It's Dylan and Rommie. They're trying to brainwash us."

"...Why, would they wanna brainwash us?"

"Don't you see? They want to make us like them. Loyal only to the Commonwealth. They want to take away our rights. Our freedoms, man. Make us part of the system. _Slaves_ to the establishment. We can't let them, Seamus. We gotta stop'em. Whatever it takes, we-have-got-to-stop-them." Beka was frantically pacing the galley and clutching her gauss gun so tightly, Harper thought it looked like it might crush under the pressure.

"Beka, is this a joke? 'Cause it ain't all that funny."

"Not a joke, Seamus. I heard it. I heard them scheming. That's what we were talking about on Command, when you showed up."

"Wait, you actually _heard_ Dylan and Rommie say they're gonna brainwash us?"

"Well, of course they did say 'brainwash.' They wouldn't would they? No, they always use code words like 'peace talks' and 'diplomatic solutions' but I know what they really mean. _Mind probes_, Seamus, mind probes."

"Mind probes?"

"Uh-huh. But they can't fool this Valentine. No, no, no, no, no. They've already got Tyr. So it's just you and me now, Shorty. The original Maru crew"

"What about Trance?"

"No, we can't trust her anymore. She's gold!"

"So?"

"Harper, gold is like the _least_ trustworthy colour."

"Look, Beka, it's late. We've all had a rough day. Why don't you try to get some sleep and in the morning maybe things'll make more sense."

Beka stopped pacing and looked at Harper with a sudden rage. "Are you working with them, Harper?"

"What? No!"

"You are aren't you? Did they send you here to do their bidding?"

"Do their bidding? NO! You brought me here, remember? I didn't really have a choice."

"Well, get out. Tell Batman I said _'nice try'_ but he's not getting me that easy." Beka pointed her weapon at the engineer. "GO!"

He turned and made is way back to the airlock."Sheesh, I'm going"

"Fine, go and be Dylan's little monkey then. Here, take your stupid pillow with you." She was using Blinky to beat Harper in the back of the head with while she pushed him out of the airlock. As soon as he was out, she shut the door, locking herself inside. It would take more then a futile attempt by Dylan's inept minion to get a Valentine down. Oh, yes, it would.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Harper picked Blinky up off of the Hanger Bay floor, his thoughts racing. What just happened? Why was Beka acting so manic? Could she be on Flash again? Why does Dylan think he's Batman? Who the hell is Batman? Why are Oompa Loompa's orange? Why wont they just let him sleep? He slowly made his way through the now warm ship back to his quarters. Maybe Rommie had finally turned the 'music' off and he could get some peace and quiet.

He got to his quarters, but it was anything but quiet. When he opened the door, Harper's ears were assaulted by an ungodly screeching sound.

"What the hells that noise?" He asked, after shutting the door again.

This hologram appeared in front of him.

"It's Than mating music." She said then she flickered out.

"Could ya turn it off, _please_?"

She didn't responded.

"Hey, I said _please_ this time!"

She still didn't respond.

"ANDROMEDA!"

Nothing.

"Fine, whatever, I'll just sleep in one of the old crew quarters."

Holo-Rommie reappeared "You can try, but I'm playing this music in all quarters, throughout the ship."

"Why?"

"Because, I think it's pretty." She said before blinking out again.

"Pretty? It sounds like they're being tortured. Oh, wait, that's ME!"

"HARPER!" Rommie called. The avatar was running down the corridor towards him with a huge smile.

"Rommie?"

"Harper, I'm so glad to see you."

"Are you?" Asked the now suspicious engineer.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I kinda thought I did something to piss you off, hence all the music." He pointed at the door to his quarters.

"Oh, that's just her." She said waving her hand around at the bulkhead. "Come on, I want to show you something." She took a firm grip on Harper's hand and quickly headed back up the corridor, pulling him with her.

"Where are we going?"

"My quarters."

"Why?"

"Shh, I don't want to spoil it. It's a surprise. This is going to be so great." She squealed and quickened her pace.

* * *

Normally, the engineer would have been trilled to have the hot android leading him by the hand to her quarters in the middle of the night. However, after Andromeda, Dylan and Beka's weird behavior, he was pretty sure he didn't what to see whatever Rommie had to show him. But, for the second time that night, he had little choice in the matter.

It only took a short time for Rommie and Harper to reach the avatar's quarters, but Harper just knew the hand she was gripping would never be useful again. He blamed himself for making her so freakin' strong. Sometimes being a genius sucked.

"Okay, ready?" Rommie asked, opening the door.

"Not really."He entered anyway.

Harper had never been in Rommie quarters before. Usually, she wouldn't let him get near them. He didn't know what to expect. What does an androids quarters look like? For that matter, what does the avatar of the biggest baddest warship in the Known Worlds quarters look like. He always imagined something simple. After all, androids don't need the same things as organic beings.

He at least figured Rommie's quarters would be the exact opposite of his, clean and tidy. A perfect order to everything. He was wrong.

Harper entered into a room of utter chaos. Pile's upon pile's of clothes lay about the room. Formal wear covering nearly every inch of floor and furniture. It looked as if a hurricane had blown through a drag-queen convention and all that was left was a mountain of make-up, hair and sparkly dresses.

The one and only pleasant thing Harper thought about the room was that the horrible Than music couldn't be heard. He noticed that there was a large hole in the wall on the other side of the room with disconnected wires hanging out. Rommie must have punched through and cut the power to her quarters sound system.

"Now, why did I think of that?" He muttered to himself.

"You wait here." Rommie ordered and headed into the fresher, closing the door behind her.

"And she gives me crap for being too messy."

After a few minutes of waiting the engineer moved some particularly ugly dresses off of the bed and sat down to think, resting his chin on his pillow. Why had Rommie brought him here? What was she doing in the bathroom? What if Beka was right? What if this was a trick to implant him with some kind of mind control device? Rommie had never shown an interest in his body before, but she had his mind? What if she wanted to cut out his brain and keep it for herself. A sick trophy to show all the other androids during tea parties.

"No, that's insane, Seamus." The engineer told himself. "Androids don't drink tea."

If only he could lay down and sleep. Fortunately, he was spared from his paranoid thoughts by the sound of the fresher door opening. After what seemed like ages, Rommie stepped out. She was wearing a long, low cut, sleeveless gown made of soft pink satin. Her hair, which moments ago was short and blue was now waist length, black and shimmered in the light.

"So, what do you think?" She asked seeing the stunned look on Harper's face.

"Uh... Wow... I mean, you look beautiful, babe."

"Good, I'm sure to win then."

"Win?"

She handed him a flexi. "Look!" She excitedly bounced up and down while he read it.

"The Miss Andromeda Enter-Galactic Beauty Pageant on Aquafina Drift." He read aloud. "Rommie, you wanna enter a beauty pageant?"

"The Miss _Andromeda_ Beauty Pageant." She pointed out. "I _am_ Miss Andromeda, I should get to participate."

"Sorry, babe. You know we love you and all, but they don't let androids enter stuff like this." A look of disappointment crossed the avatars face. "You know 'cause all the ugly organic girls think it's cheating or something." He attempted to cheer her up.

"But, I've been practicing walking in high heels." She said and started strutting about the room to prove it. Only tripping once.

"Look, I think it's a stupid unfair rule. If it were up to me, you'd win all the pageants. But it's not, I'm sorry."

"NO!" She said with a sudden anger. "I _am_ going to enter that pageant, and if those organic hags don't like it, they can kiss my artificial ass. I'm also going to _win_ that pageant, or else I'm blowing up that whole stupid drift."

"_Rommie_, you can't do that."

"Actually, I can. I'm a warship, remember?"

"But, you can't just blow people up because they don't agree with you."

"We do it all the time."

"When?"

"Every time we're in battle."

"What?' Harper asked confused.

"Well, if someone is shooting at us then _apparently _they don't agree with us, and I don't agree to them shooting at me, so...**BOOM**."

"That's different. That's self defense..._usually_."

"Who's side are you on, Harper?"

"Yours, always. It's just that, I think there's something weird going on around here, and I wouldn't want you to do something you might regret."

"I wont regret it."

"OK. Listen, the pageants not 'til next week, right?"

"Correct."

"So promise you wont do anything stup...er...rash until then, okay?"

"Alright. If you promise to go with me."

"To blow up the drift?" Harper checked.

"Yeah, it'll be so much fun."

"Yeah, sure. I better get goin' though, it's late." He backed out of the room. There was definitely some major freakiness afoot. "Igotta find Dylan."

* * *

"Andromeda, where's Dylan?" Harper called out, when he was far enough away from Rommie's quarters.

"Andromeda?" He called again. "Dammit, I know you can hear me. ANDROMEDA!"

Giving up, he concluded that Dylan was probably still on Command, hopefully back to normal. Turning the right direction, he slowly began to trudge his way up to Command.

"Harper!"

"Huh?" Harper looked up. He hadn't been paying attention to anything. He didn't need to. He'd walked this path to Command hundreds of times. Right now, he was just going through the motions. Lost in his own sleepy thoughts. But that voice was enough to pull him back to reality. "

Who's there?"

"Harper, I see you." The voice said again. It was barely a whisper, but he heard it. A voice calling his name. It seemed so close, yet so far away.

"Who are you?" The now panicked engineer asked. It was probably just one of the crew trying to scare him, or so he tried to tell himself. But that voice, that creepy familiar voice. Why did he know that voice? Then it came to him. "Gerentex."

"Oh, very good, human." Called the unmistakable voice of the Nightsider.

"I should've known you had something to do with all this rat-face. Now tell me where you are so I can do what I should've done a long time ago, KILL YOU!"

"Now, now, violence towards me will solve nothing."

"It'll make me happy."

"Indeed. Very well then. I'm up ahead, in the corridor just around corner."

Berating himself for not having his gauss gun, Harper quickly checked to see if he had anything on him that could be used as a weapon.

He had Blinky. Maybe he could smoother the rat. No, Gerentex probably wouldn't hold still long enough.

He had his connector cable. He could strangle the rat. That might work, if the cable would hold out.

He had an old fashioned yo-yo. Sometimes he got bored with fixing things and practiced _'walking-the-dog'_.

He had a flashlight. Maybe he could blind the rat, tie him up with the cable and yo-yo string then smoother him to death with the pillow.

'Yeah, that might work.' He thought to himself. "Killing Gerentex, that's my happy place."

Slowly he took the flashlight out of his pocket and advanced towards Gerentex's position, ready for any tricks rat-brain might pull. Suddenly, he clicked the light on and jumped around the corner. No Gerentex. Nobody. "Crap, where the hell are you"

"Behind you." The voice whispered.

Quickly turning around Harper prepared himself for a fight. For a second he was slightly relieved to find no one there. Then he saw something. The floor of the corridor in front of him was flooded with a strange purple and pink mist. The 'nebula' they were hiding in, was now making it's way through the ship.

"Oh, shit!"

* * *

"Er, Andromeda, we got some weird mist on aisle five." Harper once again called out to the non-responsive AI. "Andromeda?"

"Andromeda."

"Andromeda."

"An-drom-e-da."

"STOP IGNORING ME!" He yelled, his voice echoing through the corridors as he ran for Command.

"You wanted something?" The ship's hologram asked, finally appearing.

"Where the hell have you been? I've hailing you for the past ten minutes." He was trying, but mostly failing to keep his rising temper under control.

"Oh, I must not have heard you." The hologram replied nonchalantly.

"Must not have heard me? Look, whatever, we got problems. You know that stuff we're parked in? It fond it's way in."

"Interesting." She said then blinked out.

"Yeah, interesting. Until it KILLS US ALL!" He bellowed back at the empty space where the hologram had been.

* * *

Command was deserted when Harper arrived. He at least expected Dylan to be there. He was after all the captain, something he always liked to remind them of.

"Rommie, where's Dylan?" He asked, not really expecting an answer.

The AI appeared on the view screen. "I don't know a Dylan."

"Dylan, Dylan Hunt. Your captain."

"My captains name is Bruce Wayne."

"What? No, Andromeda, your captain's name is Dylan Hunt, remember?"

"Dylan Hunt was my captain. He changed his name to Bruce Wayne. Making Bruce Wayne my captain. If you still don't understand perhaps my avatar can make you some flash cards."

"No, I got it."He choseto ignore her comment. "But, Dylan thought he was Batman or something, not Bruce Wayne."

"Bruce Wayne is Batman." She replied in a way that suggested Harper was stupid for not knowing. "I'm surprised in you, Harper. Batman was a comic book super-hero from old Earth. With the amount of utterly useless knowledge you posses, I expected you would have at least heard of him"

"Sorry to disappoint, darlin'. I've heard of a Superman, a Spider-Man, a Mothman, hell even a Duck Man, but no bats. Do you have anything about him in your archives?"

"Yes."

"Can you bring them up for me, _please_?"

"I suppose." She said in bored tone. "Now, leave me alone!"

Ignoring her, Harper quickly read through the information in front of him. "So, this 'Batman' liked to keep a young boy in a cave?"

"Apparently."

"Creepy. So, where's, uh, Bruce now?"

"I don't know. Go find him yourself."

"Can't you just tell me?"

"I could, but it would be so much more fun for mewatching you search for him yourself."

"What? Fine, can you at least run a sensor sweep and find out if anyone else is on board?"

"Why?"

"I thought I heard..._someone_."

"There is no one else on board, Harper. You were imagining it."

"Possible, I've barely slept in three days. Thanks for that by the way. But, I know I wasn't imagining the mist stuff. You should run a detailed analysis of this crap we're sitting in. Find out what it is, what it's made out of, and if it's dangerous or not."

"It's just a standard nebula. Gas and dust, nothing special or out of the ordinary."

"Will you check anyway"

"Why?"

"Just humor me, will ya?"

"Alright, I'll run a scan."

"Thank you_ so_ much."Harpersaidsardonically. "Now, I'm gonna go find Captain Insane-o and bring'em up to speed."

* * *

Please review and let me know what you think so far. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Harper had been wandering the ship for what seemed like ages, and still had found no sign of Dylan or the rest of the crew. Andromeda refused to tell him out right where anyone was, but agreed to play a game of 'hot/cold' with him instead. Much to his annoyance, no matter what direction he went in, he never got any warmer. Realizing she was being purposely misleading, Harper decided to ignore the AI and look in some of the more obvious places.

Searching crew quarters turned up nothing. Apparently, no one on the ship was being allowed to sleep, as the music, which was now the Perseid hip-hop, was playing even louder. He decided to try Hydroponics next. It was only two decks up and Trance would probably be there. If anyone would know what was going on, it'd be her. "Harper." Gerentex's voice called as the engineer neared Hydroponics.

"Gerentex. You're not really here are you? On the Andromeda?"

"I never said I was."

"So, then where are you?"

Suddenly, Gerentex appeared beside Harper, who instinctively started taking swings at the Nightsider. It was pointless though as his fists passed right through Gerentex as if he weren't there. "I'm right in there." He pointed to Harper's head.

"In my head?"

"A very fascinating place to be."

Harper started waving his hand through the imaginary Nightsider. "Yeah, I bet. So then, you're not Gerentex? You're not even real?"

"I'm as real as you allow me to be, Harper."

"Alright then, go away."

"Not yet, we need to talk."

"Well, I don't talk to voices in my head."

"You used to."

"I'll ask you not to mention that, please."

"As you wish."

"Good. Now, go away."

"I have to warn you, Harper."

"About?"

"Theses people are not your friends. They've been plotting against you. They will try to kill you."

"What do you care? You're just a freakin' figment."

"I care a great deal. As you've been so kind to point out, I'm not the real Gerentex. I exist only in your head. If something unpleasant should happen to that head, it effects me just as much as it does you. Therefore you must survive. So I can."

"Then I guess I'll have to shoot myself."

"Tsk tsk tsk. Humans, so violent. And you wont be shooting anything unless you go and get your gun, my boy."

"Yeah, I'll probably need that so when my friends come to cut my brain out, huh?"

"Now, your catching on."

Harper arrived at Hydroponics. "Whatever. I'll be ignoring you now."

"Pretty soon you'll see that I'm right, then you will beg for my help." The fake Gerentex said, as he disappeared.

"Never going to happen."  
---------------------------------------

Harper entered Hydroponics. The room appeared empty. He was about to call for Trance when he heard what curiously sounded like a man softly singing. He slowly followed the sound of the voice, half afraid it was just another figment.

"Harper?" Came the soft voice of Tyr from the other side of the room.

"Tyr?"

"I am here."

"Were you singing?" He moved to where Tyr was seated amongst a verity of cut flowers.

"I was."

"Oh." Harper suppressed a laugh. "I didn't recognize the tune."

"It is a Nietzschean lullaby, my mother sang it to me as a child. I miss my dear mommy."

"Er...'kay." Things were getting waytoo weird. "Have you seen Dylan or Bruce or whoever he thinks he is?"

"No."

"Have you seen Trance?"

"No."

"Have you seen anybody?"

The Nietzechean sighed "Other then you, this moment, _no_."

"You okay, Tyr? You sound a little... down."

"Are we friends, Harper?"

"...If that's the word you wanna use, sure, we're friends."

The large man looked up at the small engineer, his eye's starting to tear up. "I've never had a friend before."

Not really sure what to do, Harper just stood there. Utterly confused by what he was seeing. A Nietzschean crying? Tyr crying?

"I've done such terrible things in my life." Tyr continued when Harper didn't respond. "Things I am ashamed of. All the horrible violent thoughts I've had since I came on bored, even about you. _I-am-so-sorry_." He was openly weeping now. Tears streaming down his dark face.

"Uh, It's okay, big guy. Don't worry about it."

"Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yeah! I mean, I've had _tons _of negative thoughts about you."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Harper knew it was the wrong thing to say. Tyr started crying harder, arms wrapped around his large chest and rocking himself back and forth.

"Crap, uh, come on Tyr, don't cry. I was just joking. You know me." Harper said nervously. He had never been good with the emotional stuff. Crying had always made him extremely uncomfortable. Crying Nietzschean's, that was new, but disturbed him more then a little.

"I have physically and mentally abused you, little one. I have used your instinctive fear of my kind to frighten you, merely for my own amusement. I usually don't even give you the respect you've earned. With the way I've treated you, I don't blame you for hating me."

"I don't hate you. Besides you treat me the same way everyone else treats me. It's really no big deal." Harper tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"You don't hate me?"

"No."

Tyr sat in silence for a moment, then without warning pulled Harper down next to him and embraced him in a tight hug. "Thank you." That was all he could say before tears started falling again. This time not out of grief, but joy.

Again, Harper didn't know what to do. He was trapped in the arms of a man twice his size. A sobbing man. His already abused shirt was now damp and he was pretty sure he'd suffocate if Tyr didn't let go soon.

"I can't breathe. Tyr, I need to breathe."

The Nietzschean finally let go of the smaller man, who immediately moved back, putting several feet between them. "Did I hurt you?" Tyr asked with genuine concern in his voice.

"No, just caught me off guard is all." The engineer replied not wanting to upset the obviously unstable Nietzschean again.

A few minutes of awkward silence passed before Tyr spoke up again. "I picked these flowers." He gestured to the flowers scattered around him. "Do you think Trance will be mad at me?" He asked sounding on the brink of tears again.

"No!" Harper quickly lied. "She'll...er... think it's_ nice_ you've taken an interest in her plants."

"I don't want her to be mad."

"She won't be." Harper reassured. "How 'bout I go talk to her? If she gets mad, I'll just say I did it, okay?"

"You would do that for me?"

"Sure, why not."

"I wouldn't want her to blame you for my actions."

"Don't worry, I think I can handle the golden one."

Tyr stood up. "If you want me to kill her for you, I will" He extend his bone blades.

Harper took a few steps back. "What? No, that wont be necessary."

"Very well."

"I better go." The engineer was now very eager to get out of the Little Hydroponics Bay of Horrors.

"Don't leave me alone." The Nietzschean whined.

"I really gotta go find Dylan. We've got big problems he should know about."

"May I accompany you then?"

Afraid of what would happen if he said "no" and knowing he could do little to stop the larger man from tagging along anyway, Harper reluctantly agreed.

"Just don't hug me again."

"I will not."

Together they headed for Med Deck. Harper thought Trance might be there, and he desperately hoped she would know what to do.

-------------------------------

On the way to Med Deck, Harper filled Tyr in on all that had happened in the past few hours. The Nietzschean however didn't seem to be concerned with the matter. In fact, he was more interested in "sharing his feelings" and compering Harper to a tiny flower that just needed to "open up and show the universe his beautiful petals."

Harper on the other hand, was not in the mood for Tyr's sudden desire for male bonding, and for once was glad he didn't have his gun with him or he would have already shot Tyr, _several _times.

"That was my experience. As I said, puberty can be very difficult for Nietzschean males. What was it like for you?"

"You know, Tyr. I don't think that's something one dude should discuss with another dude."

"It's perfectly natural."

"Is it just me, or is it starting to get really hot in here?" Harper asked, mostly attempting to change the subject, but also because the ship was in fact getting a little too warm.

"Andromeda must be playing with environmentals again." Harper told Tyr. "Okay, Andromeda that's really funny. Now, could you be a good little warship and STOP IT? He yelled, knowing the AI could here him.

"No!" She simply said, not even bothering to appeared in holographic form.

"What has gotten into the ship?" Tyr asked the fuming engineer.

"I don't know, but, she's really pissing me off."

"I will kill her for you then." The Nietzschean extended his bone blades.

"No, it's probably just a glitch in her personality matrix or something." Harper replied, waving off Tyr's generous offer. "Yay, more crap for me to fix." He added with mock enthusiasm.

Minutes later they entered Med Deck and found no one there.

"No one is here." Tyr pointed out the obvious.

"Thanks Legolas, I can see that myself."

"Lego?"

"Never mind."

"So, what now?"

"Well, we look somewhere else."

"Where"

"How should I know?" The grumpy engineer snapped. "Andromeda, could you PLEASE tell me where someone is?"

Andromeda appeared on the view screen. "Tyr Anasazi is currently located in Medical." She said with a smug smile.

Harper sighed with frustration. "Could you tell me where someone_else_ is, please?"

When the AI didn't respond to Harper's somewhat polite request the enraged engineer decided to jack in and look himself. Blaming lack of sleep for not thinking of doing it sooner, he took out the cable and shoved one end into his dataport and the other into a console. Before his could enter the ships mainframe however his dataport received a painful electric shock and he quickly pulled out the cable.

"Andromeda, what the hells wrong with you?"

Andromeda watched from the view screen. "Nothing is wrong with me, Harper."

"Then why'd the hell you just shock me?"

"Because I wanted to. Now stay out of my systems, tiny man, or next time it will be worse." She smiled again and the screen went dark.

"FINE!" Fuming, the engineer picked up a medical scanner and threw it at the view screen, shattering both.

"Was that necessary?" The indifferent Nietzschean asked.

"Yes. And you know what? So is this." Harper snapped as he began to throw more equipment about and started kicking over everything not bolted down. After a few minutes of his rampaging he managed to calm down a bit. Destroying three hundred year old High Guard equipment that probably couldn't be replaced was oddly satisfying to the little engineer.

"Are you finished?" Tyr asked from the door. He had retreated to the safety of the corridor after being struck by several large objects.

"Quite."

"Shall we continue to look for the others then?"

"You go on ahead. I have to do something first. Should only take a minute. I'll catch up."

"Is it wise to walk about the ship alone?"

"I'm sure you'll be fine"

"I was worried about you."

"Why? Because I'm Harper, and weak little Harper cant take care of himself? That's what everybody thinks, isn't it? Well, newsflash, Anasazy. I DID take care of myself. For nearly twenty years on Earth without Beka or Rommie or Dylan or a suddenly sensitive Uber. It was just ME And you don't survive very long on Earth if you're weak."

The Nietzschean was taken aback by Harper's outburst. "I meant nothing by it."

Harper took a few minutes to calm down. "Sorry, don't know why I snapped like that. Feelin' a little edgy right now, I guess."

"You have been under a lot of stress recently." Tyr reasoned.

"Yeah, that's probably it." Harper agreed. "Could you at least wait for me in the corridor? I'll be out in a minute."

"May I ask what it is you're going to do that you do not wish for me to see?"

"No."

"Very well."

To Harper's surprise, Tyr conceded and disappeared into the corridor without pursuing the matter any further.

"Finally!" The engineer muttered and immediately headed for a large locker on the far side of the room. He had been in Medical enough to know that this was where the golden alien kept the 'good stuff.' Mostly medicines and things that could be harmful to the crew. Ever since Beka's incident with Flash, Trance had become somewhat wary about leaving certain things laying about.

Reaching the locker, Harper knew he'd have to use his dataport to override her security codes. Thankful he wouldn't have to enter Rommie's mainframe (he was still in pain from his last failed attempt) he quickly connected to the control panel and in seconds the lock was disabled and the door clicked open. With a satisfied smile, Harper pocketed what he needed, grabbed a few cans of Sparky from a cooler (Trance always kept some nearby for him) and headed out of the destroyed room into the corridor.

The first thing Harper noticed was the coloured mist had made it's way down the corridor and was quickly flooding the deck. The second thing he noticed was that Tyr was nowhere in sight.

"Where the hell'd he go?" He asked himself.

"The Nietzschean abandoned you. Sooner or later, they all will." "Shut up." He told Garentex's disembodied voice.

The Nightsider materialized behind the engineer. "I warned you not to trust them."

Startled, Harper turned around. "And I'd listen to you, why?"

"They're not your friends, Harper."

"Go away, Gerry."

"They don't even like you."

"Yes, they do." Harper said defensively.

"They don't. They told me they didn't."

"Oh yeah, when?"

"Yesterday, over afternoon tea."

"You're lying. You don't even drink tea."

"I could."

"Besides, you're not real. You're just part of my screwed up imagination. You can't talked to, or annoy anyone but me."

"...True."

"How unfortunate for me. Now, will you leave me alone? I got stuff to do." He started walking up the corridor, away from Gerentex and the approaching mist.

"You forgot your little pillow." Gerentex called after him.

Extremely annoyed with himself, Harper ran back, grabbed Blinky from Medicaland retreated again. His dramatic exit ruined.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the reviews. A/N: I have no cluewhat dextroamphetamine does, so just go with it.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"Hi, Harper!"

Harper had only gotten halfway down the corridor when he was stopped again.

"TRANCE! Boy, am I glad to see you."

"You are?" She asked shyly. Her golden cheeks turning red.

"Yeah, I mean, there's some seriously freaky stuff goin' on and you specialize in freakiness, babe."

Her happy expression turned to disappointment. "You think I'm a freak?"

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean, you're good with stuff like this."

"Oh.." She sounded relieved. "So what's the problem?"

He pointed down the corridor at the mist making it's-self at home. "Er, haven't you noticed that?"

"Of course I have."

"So?"

"It's pretty!"

"Yeah, _and_?"

Trance was obviously trying to avoid discussing the mysterious mist. "I was just on my way to Medical. Want to come with?"

"Er... Trance, about that."

"Yes?"

"Well, you may not wanna go in there."

"Why is that?"

"I was just there..._Someone_ tore the place up."

"WHAT?" She ran past Harper heading toward Med Deck.

Harper followed. "Yeah, I think it was Dylan."

Trance's eyes went wide with horror when she saw the mess before her. "Dylan did this?"

"Uh-huh." Harper wasn't sure why he lied, or why he blamed Dylan. It just seemed like a good idea. "Don't worry, I'll help you clean up."

"Really?"

"Of course, but it'll have to wait till later. Bigger problems and all that right now."

Trance's face lit up. She moved closer to the engineer and gently embraced him. "You're so wonderful, Harper." She whispered softly in his ear. "I've always wanted to do _this_ with you."

"Do what?" Harper asked nervously.

"Shh!"

Harper could feel Trance's breath on his neck. Her body pressing against his as she embraced him more tightly. A wave of pure bliss, like nothing he had ever felt before washed over him. It was a pleasure greater then sex. Deeper. Warmer. It went into his very soul. In that moment Harper forgot about everything else. He just wanted to stay in Trance's comforting arms forever. And he would have.

"Harper!"

"Harper!"

"HARPER!"

Gerentex's voice pulled him back to reality. "Snap out of it, boy. Remember, we've got things to do." After what seemed like an eternity of happiness, the bliss Harper felt was now gone and he was aware of the cold reality once again.

"What the hell was that?" He asked quickly pulling away from Trance.

"Didn't you like it?"

"Well...That's not the point! You put the whammy on me or something, didn't you?"

"Whammy?"

"Yeah! You just had me in some sorta trance, _Trance_!"

"No, not _exactly_."

"Then what?"

"Well... Idon't really want totellyou now."

"Whatever. I'm sick of your little mind games, Trance. You are a freak."

Trance didn't say anything. She just stared at Harper. At first she looked hurt, tears formed in her brown eye's. Then there was nothing but anger. Without a word she grabbed Harper, kicked him in the groin and ran from the room.

"Fuck." Harper shrieked, falling to the deck in pain. "My nads."

"Does that hurt?"

Harper looked up at Andromeda's hologram. She had a look of pure glee on her face.

"What do you think?" He asked sarcastically. "Of course it freakin' hurts."

"Good! That's what you get for lying."

"This isn't right, Andromeda. None of it. Something is seriously wrong with everyone on board. Including _you_."

"The only person on board I see anything wrong with, Harper, is you."

"Really? Trance just did... I don't know what. Rommie wants to enter and/or blow up a beauty pageant. Dylan thinks he's some pervy super-hero. Tyr's about two steps away from putting on a dress and calling himself Tara. Beka's completely whacked, and you don't seem to care that creepy mist is flooding all your decks and possibly causing your crew to act like lunatics. But, you're right, I'm the problem."

"My avatar wants to enter a beauty pageant? That is completely unacceptable."

"Hello? Didn't you here anything else I said?"

"I knew that thing of yours would be a liability. I will not have it parading my image about like some teenage bimbo on spring break. I want it deactivated immediately, Harper." She disappeared with a disgusted look on her face.

"Yeah, I'll get right on it."

"My my, she _is_ a bitch!" Gerentex's image replaced the holograms. "But, that's nothing new, is it?"

Harper didn't say anything.

"No, it's not." Gerentex answered his own question. "She doesn't appreciate you, Harper. None of them do. You give everything and they give..._nothing_. Do they ever say 'Thank you' or 'Well done' when one of your brilliant plans saves their lives?"

Harper didn't answer. He just lay with his back to the cold deck and listened. Maybe Ol' Gerentex was on to something.

"You don't have to respond, dear boy. We both know the answer. They just use you, Harper. For so many things. To fix their ships. To abuse. To blame."

"To laugh at." Harper added.

"Exactly! Your so called 'friends' don't appreciate, respect, or even like you. They only keep you aroundso they can feel better aboutthemselves."

"Maybe!" Harper didn't want to admit it, but now that he thought about it, everything Gerentex was saying made sense.

"So, what are we going to do about it?"

"We?"

"You and I. We're a team now. We need a plan."

"Here's a plan. You shut the hell up and I'll just lay here and sleep."

"Sleep? No! We have work to do."

"Then you do it."

"We have to do it together."

"Now that just sounds disgusting."

"Huh? Oh! You have a very dirty mind, boy."

"Thank you."

"Will you focus? We have to go find that High Guard relic."

"Relic? Oh, 'cause Dylan's all old and stuff, right? HA!"

"That's right."

"So no more screwin' around, eh? Fine!"

Reluctantly, Harper picked himself up off the floor, still in pain from Trance's attack on his privets.

"Remind me to give Trance a proper 'thanks' later on."

"Are you ready?"

"Give me a minute, will ya?" Downing a can of Sparky, Harper pulled a small vial of clear liquid from his side pocket. "Good, not broken."

"And that is?"

"Don't you know everything I know?"

"No."

"Well, this my _incorporeal_ friend, is a variant of dextroamphetamine. In pure liquid form. It's a, er, stimulant of sorts. I meant to save it for when I absolutely need it, but it's already proving to be a long night."

"Isn'tthat stuffaddictive and often used to make flash?"

"Too right you are. Which is why Trance had it locked up."

"So you mean to take it then?"

"Dur!"

"Is that wise?"

"You worried I'll get addicted? That's sweet. But, don't worry, I'm not prone to addiction." Harper said downing another Sparky.

"Obviously!" Gerentex muttered.

Carefully Harper opened the vial and placed two drops of the liquid on his tongue. "It's tingly."

"How do you feel?"

Harper could feel the drug working immediately. "Good."

"Still tired?"

"Not really."

"Shall we continue with our plan then?"

"We don't _have_ a plan."

"Then we should come up with one."

"Alright."  
--------------------------------------

"You'll need your gun, Harper." Gerentex told the engineer.

"Why?"

"Because it's never smart to wonder about without a weapon, especially when all your crew mates are armed."

"They _wont_ shoot me." Harper stated matter-of-factly.

"You really want to put that to the test?"

"Er."

Avoiding corridors taken over by the mist was proving to be more difficult now, as it engulfed nearly the entire ship. Eventually, Harper was left with no other options and would have to walk through the stuff if he was going to get anywhere. To his relief, it didn't try to attack or maim him in any way when he stepped into it, so he decided it was probably safe to at least walk in. His feet disturbed the colourful mist causing it to swirl around madly as he moved his way through the corridor.

Not wanting to linger in his quarters any longer then he had to as Rommie was now playing love songs from a group called Backstreet Boys (though Harper suspected they weren't actually 'boys' at all). He quickly grabbed his gauss gun from a work bench, tossed Blinky on the bed and headed out the door before he had to hear another verse of 'Oh-yeah-yeah-yeah-I-love-you-so-much-girl.'

"Now what?" He asked once the door closed behind him, drowning out the music.

"Now we deal with the crew."

"Deal with?"

"It's time they gave you the respect you deserve. Don't you think?"

"And we can do that by fixing this mess, and fixing them, right?"

"That's more or less what I had in mind, yes."

"I like it."

"Good. Now we go to the Command Deck."

"And do what exactly?"

"We're going to take control of this ship."

"What?"

"It's only a precaution, Harper. Your captain is in no fit state to command such a powerful ship. Nor is Captain Valentine or any of the others."

"I'm _not _gonna take control of the ship."

"Why not?"

"It's mutiny, for one."

"So?"

Harper growled under his breath. "Nightsiders."

"Well, whats _your_ plan then?"

"I don't have one, yet."

"Time is of the essence, genius."

"I'll come up with something, just go away and let me think."

"Fine, have it your way."

Gerentex disappeared and Harper was alone once again. "I always do."


	6. Chapter 6

Yes, more stolen Farscape quotes. Sorry, they just work so well.Mwa-ha-ha-ha! Please review. :)

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Harper was still strolling the ship, hoping desperately for a brilliant plan to come to him. The longer he though the more appealing Gerentex's plan became. But he knew even with his knowledge of her systems, taking over the Andromeda would be a difficult task. One he wasn't desperate enough to try yet.

"YOU!"

Harper turned in the direction of the voice. "Beka?"

"You're not going to get me. I'll kill you first!"

Before Harper knew what was happening Beka fired three shots at him. Luckily for him they were poorly aimed and zoomed past his head, hitting the bulkhead instead.

"What the-?" He jumped out of the way just in time as Beka fired another shot in his general direction. "BEKA, STOP SHOOTING AT ME!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because- Because, I'll shoot _you_ if you don't." Harper bluffed.

"Really? Go on. Shoot me then." Beka encouraged.

"You don't think I will?"

"No, I believe you'll pull the trigger. I just don't think you'll hit anything."

Harper's anger was rising. "Oh, and you're so much better?"

"I am. Compared to_ you_ anyway."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You're deficient!"

"Who you calling _deficient_?"

"You! Not that it's your fault of course. But face it, kid. You're un-enhanced and genetically inferior to the rest of us."

"How very Nietzschean of you, Beks."

"You're shorter, weaker and in poorer heath then anyone I've met. EVER! Hell, you've even got bad eyesight."

"HEY, I got great eyes. They're better then 20/20, and they're BLUE!"

"Hardly impressive to Spacer standards."

"Well, you're superior Spacer aim sure did a nice number on the bulkhead. Go you!"

Harper dodged another round of shots from Beka before returning fire.

"I'll kill you, little runt." Beka called, taking cover.

"Is there a problem here?" Tyr's booming voice filled the corridor and both Beka and Harper ceased fire.

"Tyr." Beka nervously acknowledged.

"Crazy bitch's gone crazy." Harper informed Tyr, hoping he was still in good with the Niet.

"Is that so?" Beka pointed at Harper. "He shot at me."

Harper pointed back. "She shot at me _first_."

Tyr said nothing and just looked between the two for a moment. Finally he turned to Beka and extended his bone blades. "You tried to kill my little buddy!"

"Who him?" Beka again pointed at Harper. "So?"

"You will pay for it in blood."

Baka raised her gun and slowly backed away from the advancing Nietzschean.

"Wait." Harper put himself between the two.

"I will kill her for you, Harper."

"That's a bit extreme, Tyr. Can't you just knock her unconscious instead."

"If you wish."

Beka on the other hand was not waiting around for that and bolted before Tyr had a chance to reach her.

"She ran away." Tyr said in disbelief. "Shall I pursue?"

"Nah, she ain't a threat."

"She shot at you."

"Yeah, but her aims crap. Superior genes my ass."

"You got lucky."

"Not recently." Harper replied. "So where'd you run off to earlier?"

"I thought I heard Trance coming and I wasn't ready to face her after the horrible things I did to her flowers."

Harper was going to make a joke about Tyr's fear of Trance until the pain he still felt in his nether regions reminded him that the golden girl was perfectly capable of causing some pain.

"Where are you headed?" Tyr asked breaking the silence that had befallen.

"Command."

"I shall accompany you."

"NO!" Gerentex appeared next to Harper. "Get rid of him, he'll ruin everything."

"We need him on our side." Harper pointed out to the imaginary Nightsider.

"Need whom?" Tyr asked confused.

"I'm not talking to _you_." Harper answered as if it should have been obvious.

"Just get rid of him."

"How?"

"How what?" Tyr asked, but Harper ignored him.

"Kill him."

"I'm not going to kill him." Harper protested.

"You need someone killed?" Tyr eagerly extended his bone blades again.

"Would you stop doing that?" Harper snapped at the Nietzschean.

"Are you talking to me now?" Tyr asked uncertain.

"Yes!"

"Just shoot him." Gerentex encouraged.

"No."

"No, what?"

"NOT YOU!"

"This is becoming tedious, Harper." Garentex yawned. "If you wont kill him then at least send him away."

"Where?"

"Anywhere."

"Fine." Harper agreed. "Tyr, I need you do me a favour."

"What kind of favour?"

"I just need you to...er... go find Rommie. Can you do that?" Harper asked.

"Do you want me to kill her?"

"No, just find her."

"I'm guessing the ship isn't going to tell me where she is."

"Probably not."

"Alright, I'll go. Just be mindful of your surroundings. That mad women's still on the loose." Tyr advised before heading off in the opposite direction.

"Thanks Yoda, I'll keep that in mind." Harper called after him.

"Finally!" Gerentex sighed.

"Wanna tell me why I just sent Tyr off? He could've been useful."

"He would have made things complicated. Asked too many questions. Besides, he was getting on my nerves."

"Beka probably would've shot me if he hadn't shown up." Harper argued, still not sure he made the right decision.

"Not if you shot her first."

"I shot back. I just missed."

"Your heart wasn't in it."

"Well, I didn't want to_ kill_ her."

"You could have let the Nietzschean do it."

"Weren't we doing something before psycho showed up?" Harper asked to change the subject.

"You were attempting to come up with a plan to save us all." Gerentex answered with sarcasm.

"Right. We need to go to Command."

"I suggested that."

"So?"

"So, like always you're going to take credit for _my_ brilliance. It's so unfair."

"Yeah, well, that's life."

"Life? Don't talk to me about life. I'm just your imaginary friend."

"Relax, rat. I'm not using your plan. And we are _not _friends."

"You have a plan!"

"Sorta. Follow me."

"Well, it's not like I have much choice, is it?"

"Not really."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harper reached Command, but stopped before entering to listen when he heard raised voices coming from inside.

"You can't hurt me on my own ship." The sound was muffled, but Harper recognized Dylan's unmistakable voice.

"It might not be your ship much longer, Captain." Trance's soft, but intimidating voice replied.

"I told you, I haven't even been to Medical." Dylan now sounded scared and desperate.

"Oh, crap." Harper remember he had blamed Dylan for the destruction of the Med Deck. "Trance must be after a little revenge."

"Let them squabble it out. No need for us to get involved."

"Gee, Gerentex, no ones ever accused you of doing the right thing, have they?"

"Not that I can recall, no."

There was scuffling followed by a loud bang and what Harper thought sounded like gagging.

The Command door swished open and Harper ran into the room to find Trance standing over Dylan. He was laying on the deck and seemed to be stunned by what was happening. Gaining some composer he tried to move away from the irate alien.

"No you don't." Trance yelled. Dylan had what appeared to be a bed sheet tied around his neck making a makeshift cape and Trance proceeded to choke him with it.

"Hold still!" She yelled at the struggling captain.

Harper was amused by the scene at first, and despite Gerentex's efforts to dissuade him, he couldn't just let Trance kill Dylan... 'At least, not yet.' He told himself. "TRANCE! STOP!"

Trance appeared to be annoyed with the interruption and glared at Harper for a few moments before her face softened and she offered Harper a meek smile.

"Let him go." Harper ordered.

"But, I was just starting to have fun." She pouted.

"You're killing him."

"Nuh-uh, we were just playing a game." She loosened her hold on the captains neck and he gasped for air. "See? Fun!"

Gerentex was beside himself with joy. "I want to play!" He told Harper, bouncing up and down like an eager child.

Harper ignored him.

Standing, Dylan quickly moved to Harper's side and straightened out his 'cape' in a vain attempt to regain some dignity. "Thank goodness you're here, Boy Wonder. I feared that some foul fate had befallen you."

"Wha-?" Harper just stared at the taller man, confused for the moment.

"Psst." Andromeda pretended to whisper from the view screen. "He's crazy"

"Really?" Harper replied with mock surprise.

"Now that's enough, ship. I'm still the captain." Dylan snapped at the warship before turning to Trance. "I'm afraid you little Missy are going to be spending some time in the brig to think about what you've done/"

"I should have just snapped your neck." Trance said maniacally, taking a few slow steps toward Dylan and Harper. Both equally took a few steps back.

"I can do that, you know?" Trance continued. "With my bare hands too. Maybe even with one hand, don't know, haven't tried it..._yet_." She smiled evilly. "Hardly any effort at all and SNAP!"

Dylan and Harper flinched.

"Almost like you were made of thin glass. Human bodies, so fragile."

"Er.. Not that I don't absolutely l_ove_ the morbid and creepy stuff, it's just I think maybe you should think about what you're doing. This isn't you, Trance. Somethings making you act like this."

"Don't worry Harper, I wasn't going to hurt you."

"Oh... Really?"

"Of course not." She said softly. "Just him." Her face hardened and she pointed a golden finger at Dylan.

"Miss, remember that when you point at someone, all you have is three fingers pointing back at you." Dylan lectured. "Now, you're out numbered and out witted. I suggest you surrender and come along quietly."

"Do you?" She moved closer.

Dylan moved behind Harper to block himself from Trance. "If you do the crime, you _must_ pay the time."

"Oh, shut up!" Harper and Trance said simultaneously and Harper moved away from the cowering captain.

"How dare you!" Dylan said affronted. "I'M CAPTAIN AND YOU _WILL_ RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!"

"Oh, please." Harper muttered.

Trance ran forward. She was quick and Dylan didn't have time to react or defend himself before she brought her leg up and with full force, kneed him in the groin.

Harper cringed in sympathy, remembering that Trance had done the same to him not so long ago.

"Man down." Dylan squeaked and hunched over in pain.

Trance then pushed him over onto the deck floor. Andromeda's AI snickered from the view screen, but offered no assistance to her downed captain.

"Trance, what'd you do that for?" Harper asked, hoping she wouldn't come after him next.

"He was annoying me."

"Still, that's no reason to kick a guy in his misters."

"You saw what he did to Med Deck."

"Look, Trance, about that."

"Yes, Harper, why don't you tell Trance the truth." The AI encouraged.

"Truth?" Trance questioned.

"Don't tell her." Gerentex advised.

"I've got to."

"Got to what?" Trance asked.

"Dylan didn't destroy Med Deck, I did."

"Don't be silly. It was Dylan."

"BRUCE!" Dylan corrected in a high pitched voice.

"No, it was me. I was really pissed off."

"At me?" She asked close to tears.

"No, at Rommie."

Theyheard a "Humph!" from the AI, but ignored her.

The room was silent for what seemed like ages to Harper. He was about to make a run for it when Trance spoke up.

"Did you destroy my flowers in Hydroponics too?" She asked in a soft voice.

"No... _That_ was Tyr." He answered. "He feels _really_ bad about it though." He added. "And I feel bad about destroying Medical. I only lied 'cause I didn't want to hurt you."

"Oh...Well, that's okay then. I forgive you."

"_Really_?" Both Harper and Andromeda's AI asked.

"Uh-huh."

"What's the catch?" Harper didn't exactly trust Trance's sudden change in attitude.

"Well, you'll have to make up for it."

"I will, I promise. I'll clean everything up and try to fix all the stuff I broke."

She smiled suggestively. "I had something else in mind."

She reached out and gently stroked his chest a few times before she turned and left Command.

"What the hell was that?" Harper asked to no one in particular.

"It's disturbing." The AI answered with a disgusted look on her face.

"It's a trick." Gerentex guessed.

"It's not _fair_." Dylan sobbed from the floor.

Harper looked down at him curled up pitifully on the deck. "Shake it off, Sparky. You're supposed to be a High Guard soldier."

Dylan looked up at the engineer. "Will you avenge me, young friend?"

"Get a grip man, you're not dying."

"He could be." Gerentex smiled and mimed shooting Dylan with his hands.

Harper ignored him. "Rommie, have you found anything out about this nebula yet?"

"No."

"Nothing?"

"A reasonable interpretation of the word _no_."

"Did you even run a scan?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I've been busy."

"Doing what?"

"Mind your own business." The AI snapped. "I'll do the scan in a little while."

"Whycan't you do itnow?"

"I'm in the middle of something."

Holo-Rommie appeared in front of Harper. "We're playing Vedran Wist. I'm winning."

"Hardly." The AI on screen replied.

"Let me get this straight. You're too busy playing games with yourself to deal with an actual emergency"

"I'll run the scan after I win. Stop whining about it." The AI said and blinked out.

"She's just made because she's loosing." The hologram told Harper then also flickered out.

"Can't you order her to do it?" Harper asked, returning to the captains side. "Dylan?"

"Bruce!"

"Fine, whatever, Bruce."

"Yes?"

"Make Rommie listen to me."

"Oh, I cant do that."

"Why not?"

"She's more then a machine, she's a sentient being. We cant just order her around."

"You do it all the time. You did less then five minutes ago."

"I did? Well, I was wrong to do so."

"I just need her to do one simple thing. But she wont even let me do it. Why doesn't anyone else wanna find out whats going on?"

"I can't help you. This is your task." Dylan replied.

"You know what? I'm sick of you." Harper told Dylan.

"Are we going to kill him now?" Gerentex asked.

"Nope, but we're gonna make sure he he doesn't wake up for a while." Harper told the imaginary Gerentex and pulled a hypo-spray out of a pocket.

"Some sort of poison?" The curious Nightsider asked. "Will it make him suffer?"

"Stop being so sadistic, Gerry. It's just a sedative. Instant sedative, actually. I took a few from Trance's stash on Med Deck."

Harper quickly injected Dylan who looked like he was about to ask who her was talking to.

"Nighty-night, old man."

"One down." Gerentex counted.

"Four ta go." Harper finished.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you everyone who reviewed. You made my day. Sorry, this is a short chapter, but I'll have chapter eight done soon. I hope... Anyway, ifyou hate any type of Harper/Trance pairings, look away now.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"Harper"

He had barely gotten out of Command into the corridor when Harper heard Trance say his name. She was leaning against the bulkhead on the other side of the door. "I've been waiting for you." She told him moving her body close to his.

"Er...Why?" Harper asked uncomfortably. Given what happen last time she was this close he was weary about her motives. "Look Trance, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. It was just... whatever you were doing. I've never felt like that before, and it freaked me out."

"It's okay, Seamus. We could try it your way, if you prefer."

"_My_ way?"

"The way humans do it."

"Do what exactly?"

"Have sex."

Shocked Harper pulled away from her. "What?"

"I thought you knew."

"NO!"

"Oh."

"You mean _we_, with the thing, that's-"

"The way my people procreate." Trance finished for him. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"Well, it explains why you got so mad at me."

Trance again moved closer to him. This time she wrapped her arms around his waste and began kissing his neck. He attempted to pull her off but that only made her more persistent. "No, Trance. Stop."

She push him back against the bulkhead. "Come on, Harper. Don't you want me?" She asked and passionately kissed him on the lips.

He kissed back. He knew it was wrong. She probably wasn't in a right state of mind, but he didn't care. She was the one coming on to him.

"She's just playing with you, Harper." Gerentex interrupted.

"That's okay." He said, breaking the kiss.

"What's okay?' Trance asked.

"Nothing." He began kissing her again.

Holo-Rommie appeared next to them. "Excuse me." She said, getting their attention. "Could you two take it somewhere else?"

"Hi, Rommie. Want to join in?" Trance asked the hologram.

"With you or with him?" The hologram asked.

Trance shrugged. "Either."

"I'll pass."

"Your loss." Trance replied."Now, leave us alone." She demanded and the hologram flickered out.

Gerentex took the time while Trance was distracted to remind Harper of the task at hand. "When this is over, how do you think Trance will react if you take advantage of her?"

"But, she practically seduced me. A guy can only hold out so long." Harper tried defending his actions.

"Well, if you value your so called friendship with her, you'll show some self control."

Grunting Harper conceded. "Alright. Fine. You win."

Now that Holo-Rommie was gone Trance's full attentions were now back on the man she had pinned to the bulkhead. "What do I win?" She asked using her hands to explore Harper's body.

"Uh, nothing." He really wished Gerentex would have minded his own business. "Stop Trance. You don't really want this."

"Of course I do. And it's _obvious_ that you do, so whats the problem?"

"You're being affected by something. This mist, I think. It's affecting everyone, even Rommie. So, it'd be wrong to do anything because you'll probably really regret it later. And as much as I want this, I don't wanna mess up our friendship. It hasn't been all that great lately, but it's still important to me. _You're_ important to me."

"That's sweet, but this mist isn't affecting me. It only effects weaker species."

"How do you know?"

"I analyzed some of it earlier."

"WHAT? Why didn't you say anything?"

"It was unimportant."

"Unimportant? It's making your friends insane."

"It doesn't seem to be effecting you much though."

"...Well, no, I guess it isn't." He didn't want to tell her about his imaginary friend.

"See? Only weaker species."

As much as Harper would like to believe Trance was acting of her own accord, he highly doubted that the mist had no affect on her. Mentally chastising himself, he managed to push her off of him.

"What are you doing?" She asked confused.

"Gettin' away from you, women."

"Why?"

"'Cause I got things to do and your..._distracting_ me."

"That was the point." She smiled.

"I'm aware of that, which is why I gotta do this."

"Do wha-?" Harper injected her with the sedative and she was out before she could finish the sentence.

"Sorry, my dear, but you'll thank me later."

"Or _kill_ you." Gerentex put in.

Harper lifted Trance's prone body up off the deck. "Wow, Trance, you're heavier then you look. Must be all the leather."

"Maybe you're just weak." Gerentex suggested.

"Shut up, rat."

"Well, I'd love to help, but I'm a bit incorporeal at the moment."

"I got it." He carried her back into Command and gently laid her down near Dylan's unconscious form.

"Andromeda." Harper called.

She appeared on screen. "What?"

"Will you please let me know if either of them start to wake up?"

"They wont be happy, you know?"

"Just tell me, okay?" He asked again.

"I suppose."

"Good, and if you're done playing with yourself, could yoube a doll andrun that scan?"

"Well, I never!" She said affronted and blinked out.

"That's two down." Gerentex said with a smile.

"You're really enjoying this aren't you?"

"I'd have more fun if you would just kill one of them."

"I'm not killing anyone."

"Not even Captain Hunt?"

"No."

"But-"

"NO!"

"Fine. Be like that."

"I will."

"Do you always have to have the last word?"

"Yes."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never did. Never will.

A/N: Here's the next chapter. It probably could have been better, butI hope you like it anyway. Please review.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Harper had been walking the corridors for nearly an hour, but had found no sign of Beka, Tyr or Rommie. He decided to ask Andromeda for help, but the AI only proceeded to insult him.

"I'm only judging by my experience with you, but I've never seen such a different species."

"Have you even run a scan on the mist yet?" He asked.

"How do humans on Earth make it through a day, even half a day without killing each other?"

"We find it difficult." Harper replied irritated. "Have you run the scan?"

"You have no special abilities. You're not particularly smart, can hardly smell, can barely see, and you're not even vaguely physically or spiritually imposing. Is there anything you do well?"

"Surf! Have you run the scan?"

"Nobody likes you, Harper. Do you know that? Sometimes they pity you because of your incompetence-"

"Oh, you wanna talk about _incompetence_, do you? You can't seem to manage running a simple scan. I think we should've left your ass in that black hole and let find your own way out. You spoiled, uptight, UNGRATEFUL museum exhibit! HAVE YOU RUN THE FREAKIN' SCAN?"

Andromeda's internal defenses fired a shot at him, hitting a can of Sparky Cola and knocking it out of his hand.

"HEY! Are you crazy?" Harper yelled. "What if you'd missed? You coulda killed me!"

"What are you talking about? I DID miss." She fired a few more shots.

"Crap!" He dived for cover. "What the hells happening to you, Rommie?"

"I'm functioning perfectly."

"You're shooting at me!"

"Does that bother you?"

"_Duh_!"

"I just needed to remind you that _I'm_ the one in control here." The internal defenses stopped firing. "If I wanted you dead, you would be. Are we clear now?"

"Crystal. Wont bother you again."

"Good."  
-------------------------------------------

"Shoot at me, huh? I'll show you." Harper grumbled to himself. He had been crawling around in Andromeda's conduits for nearly an hour before he found the access panel he needed. He removed the cover and began connecting wires to his handheld.

"Come on, come on. YES!" He yelled excitedly. "Harper, one! Warship, nil!"

"Harper, what are you doing?" Andromeda's hologram blinked into existence next to her engineer.

"I was wondering when you'd show up." He was too focused on what he was doing to even look up at her.

"I told you not to mess with my systems. I locked you out." She said with clear anger in her voice.

"Worried I'm up to somethin' nefarious?"

"Aren't you?"

Harper finally looked up at the hologram and gave her a cocky grin. "Rommie, Rommie, Rommie. Who am I?"

Confusion crossed her face. "Is that a rhetorical question or have you finally lost your mind?"

"I am Seamus Zelazny Harper." He answered for her. "Not only am I an incredibly incredible super genius, I've also been your one and only engineer for nearly two years. You _really_ think I wouldn't find away into your systems? That I couldn't get around your little block?"

"Well...yes."

"Cute. But you've underestimated the glory that is _me_. I'm very disappointed in you." Harper noticed the hologram appeared distracted at that moment. 'Probably conversing with her central AI.' He thought.

"Harper, what have you done?" She asked, the concern evident in her voice.

"So far? Well, I fixed the environmentals. Sorry doll, but I don't like walking around in a sauna. Not unless there's some hot naked babes with me." He wiggled his eye brows suggestively. The hologram looked away disgusted. "Now, I'm about to put your automated defenses into a secured diagnostics mode."

"Harper, wait." She tried to stop him.

He keyed in a few commands. "Correction, I _have_ put your automated defenses into a secured diagnostics mode."

Holo-Rommie frowned. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Well, you shouldn't have been shooting at me."

"Perhaps, but now I have no defenses against the intruders."

"Relax, they'll be back up in a few hours until then-." Harper stopped and looked at the hologram. "Wait, did you just say THE intruders?"

"Yes, we've been boarded."

"Crap! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I told you to wait, but _no_, Mr. Super Genius had to make his point."

"Who are they? _What_ are they? How many are there? And what the hell are they doing?"

"Two ships have docked in HangerBay 4. They appear to be our mystery attackers. I can't identify the species, but there seem to only be a dozen of them."

Harper scuffed. "Only?"

"They've divided into smaller groups and are exploring the ship. It looks like four of them are headed for Command."

"Crap, Trance and Dylan are there!"

"I've sealed the doors. That should hold them off for a while."

"Okay, good. What about the others?"

"Tyr is with my avatar in her quarters. Communications to that section are down and I haven't had any success contacting my avatar. I believe she has shut me out."

"The way you've been acting, can you blame her?"

"She's always been too emotional."

"Whatever. We need to focus here. Where's Beka?"

"I've been unable to locate her."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. She's somehow masking herself from my sensors."

"Great." Harper sighed. "I better go get Tyr and Rommie. Hope they're up for a fight."

After safely tucking away his gear Harper made his way through the conduits heading for crew quarters.

------------------------------------------------

Harper poked his head out of a conduit near Rommie's quarters and look around. The coast seemed to be clear at the moment. He climbed out and quickly ran to the avatars door. He pressed the chime and in seconds the door swished open.

"HARPER!"

Before he had time to react Harper was pulled into the room and embraced by two very excited and very strong bodies.

"Guys?" Came his muffled voice from somewhere near Tyr's chest. "Are you trying to crush me? 'Cause if so, good job."

To is relief the pressure let up and he was once again able to breath properly.

"Are you alright?" The android kindly asked.

"Sure Rom-doll, I'm peachy." He was about to update them on the most recent problem when he caught sight of the most disturbing, yet equally hilarious thing he had ever seen.

"Um, Tyr?" He asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"Yes, Harper?"

"Why are you wearing a dress?"

For Tyr Anasazi, out of Victoria by Barbarossa was not dressed his everyday leather garb, but was indeed wearing a short frilly pink and white dress, along with his usual black boots (Harper figured they didn't make high heels that big). His dreadlocks were pulled back and tied with a bow to match. Needless to say, he looked ridiculous.

"It was the only one that fit me." The Nietzschean answered somewhat abashed. "I thought I looked pretty."

Rommie placed a comforting hand on Tyr's arm. "You look lovely." She reassured him, then glared at Harper. "Doesn't he?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." Unable to hold it in any longer, Harper doubled over with laughter.

"I'm glad you like it, Harper." The android said with amusement. "Because we found a dress that would be perfect for _you_."

Immediately the laughter ceased. "What?"

"Here." Rommie held up a long light blue gown similar to the one she still wore. "It'll bring out the colour in your eyes." She held it out to Harper indicating that he should take it.

"No freakin' way." He protested. "I ain't wearin' that!"

"But, Tyr let me dress HIM up." The avatar pouted. "Please?"

"NO!"

"Well, why not?"

"First, because I'm a guy, and guys _don't_ wear dresses. Well, at least most guys don't. Some guys are into that sorta thing. I had an uncle once that was, but we weren't really aloud to talk to him. Of course he was a Flash addict so that kinda explains some stuff-"

"Harper, you're rambling." Rommie informed her engineer.

"Oh right. And secondly, this isn't exactly a good time to be playing dress up. The reason I came here was to tell you that we've got intruders on board. Andromeda thinks they're the same assholes that attacked us earlier."

"What do they want?" Rommie asked concerned.

"Who cares?" Tyr spoke up. "Let's just kill them."

"Just what I had in mind, big guy.According to the AI, there are twelve of them spread throughout the ship. Some were headed for Command though. That's our biggest problem at the moment."

"Why is that?" Tyr asked.

"Trance and Dylan are on Command. I sorta left them... unconscious." The last part was barely a whisper, but Tyr and Rommie both heard it.

"Unconscious?" Rommie asked curiously.

"I'll explain later. Anyway, the AI sealed the doors, but there's no tellin' how long those'll hold."

"Let's go then." Tyr grabbed his over sized gun from the bed, where his discarded garments now lay. While Rommie picked out her two favourite force lances. Not that she really needed a weapon, little lone two. She just liked the effect going into battle well armed had.

"Wait." Harper stopped the pair from rushing out the door. "Beka's still running around the ship and Andromeda can't locate her. One of us'll have to go after her."

"NOT IT!" Tyr and Rommie yelled simultaneously.

Harper growled. "Fine, I'll go find Beka. You two go to Command, I'll meet you there. Unless I die of course. In which case, neither of you gets any of my stuff."

However Rommie and Tyr didn't hear him as they were already well on their way to Command. Dresses and all.

Drawing his gauss gun Harper walked into the mist filled corridor. He listened carefully for any sign of the unwanted guests. Confident in the sneaking abilities the acquired growing up on Earth, he swiftly but quietly made his was to the Hanger Deck.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Here's chapter 9, hope ya like it. It's a bit different then the previous chapters. A little more serious. But, don't worry, things will get weirder in chapter 10.

Also, I noticed that some of the words have been running together. No clue why that is, so my apologies.

--------------------

**Chapter 9**

"Where the hell is she?" Harper asked himself. He had searched every inch of the Maru and found no trace of Beka. He thought she would have fled to the safety of her beloved ship after their last encounter. He sighed. He really wasn't looking forward to searching the entire Andromeda. That would take forever and time was a precious commodity when not only is your ship being overrun with muti-coloured mist , but has also been boarded by unknown hostiles. Not to mention that the AI is for the most part being uncooperative, your captain is unconscious, your other captain is a fruit loop that happens to be MIA, and your biggest baddest warrior is currently sporting women's attire.

Harper sighed again. "Guess I'll have to do it the hard way." He returned to the mist filled corridor.

"Why do it at all?"

"Shut up, Gerry. I need to think."

"Why risk your safety looking for her, when she will most likely try to kill you if you do find her?"

Harper was stopped from telling Gerentex's disembodied voice what to do with itself when something very hard collided with the back of his head, and knocked him face first into the deck below.

"_See?_"

Harper could just picture the smug grin on Nightsiders face and wanted nothing more then to strangle the rat. He was pulled back to reality when he heard movement behind him and the sound of weapons being charged. His instincts told him to be quiet and remain still, and who was he to argue with himself?

"Is it alive?" Harper heard a voice ask. It was curiously high pitched.

"Dunno, poke it." Another voice respond with a voice equally high.

Harper thought they sounded very much like they had been inhaling helium. Because of that, he was unable to tell if the speakers were male or female. Either way, Harper thought they sounded like they'd be the least threatening sentient beings in the three galaxies. Even less threatening then the tiny white furred natives of the small planet Wakcowhoka whom Harper had dubbed _'the cute bunny people'_ because of their striking resemblance to the harmless, yet quite extinct floppy eared animal. It was there, on Wakcowhoka, where he acquired his lucky "rabbits" foot. But that's another, not so nice story. As it was, Harper had to remind himself that these helium people currently had guns pointed at him. It was all he could do to keep himself from laughing at their ridiculous voices.

Harper could hear one of the intruders cautiously moving closer to him. Not being able to see what was happening made him a little nervous, but he remained absolutely still. On Earth this trick was called 'playing nocturnal marsupial' or something stupid like that. He wasn't sure exactly, as it referenced an animal that had been extinct for thousands of years.

He hoped that if they thought he was unconscious or dead, they'd move on. In reality he knew he'd have no such luck and that more then likely, somebody was going to get shot. After an extremely short internal discussion Harper and Gerentex both agreed that death did not sound very appealing, and that Harper would just have to avoid it.

"Poke it." The second voice repeated.

'Poke it?' Harper thought amused. 'How dumb are these things?'

He sensed the alien creature standing above him, and held his breath. He could almost feel it's eye's gazing at his prone body. Searching for any sign of life. He wasn't going to give it one. Not yet. He needed it to get a little closer first. Using its foot the creature lightly nudged Harper's leg. Nothing happened. It tried again, this time a little harder. Still the little human remained still. Gaining some confidence, the alien moved closer and crouched down next to Harper, then began poking him in the ribs. Harper couldn't believe the creature was actually poking him. It was so rude. And who went around poking people these days? Honestly?

He knew he needed a plan, fast. His lungs burned from lack of oxygen and his ribs were sore from being poked repeatedly. Unfortunately, he was drawing a blank in the way of good ideas. Unable to hold out any longer Harper did the first thing that came to mind. In one quick move, he rolled over, grabbed the alien with one hand, his gauss gun with the other and shot the thing dead before it could even raise it's weapon. Its lifeless body slumped against his, conveniently blocking the shots from the other alien. Lifting himself and his new 'human' shield up he returned fire. A shot hit the bulkhead next to the aliens head and it abruptly dropped its weapon and surrendered.

'That was easy.' Harper thought to himself.

'That was a very bad plan.' Gerentex's disembodied voice returned.

'It worked, didn't it?'

With not so much as a "thanks" Harper tossed the dead alien aside. Then using his gun instructed the other one to move back. It did.

"I can help you." It pleaded with its little voice. "I've got code-"

Harper put his finger to his lips, indicating that the alien should remain quiet. It did.

Harper took a moment to take in the aliens appearance. He had never seen the spices before. It was humanoid with extremely pale, almost white skin. It was a little shorter then him and had small black beady eyes. The head was completely bald and from what Harper could discern, it was also lacking any type of body hair. Even looking at it, Harper still couldn't make out the sex. He thought there seemed to be an almost artificial quality about it. Almost.

It was afraid. Harper could sense the fear. Hell, he could almost smell it. He stared at the creature and let an evil grin creep across his lips. The alien tried to recoil, but one look from Harper told it not to. It didn't. Harper was loving it. This thing was genuinely afraid of him, and he hadn't said one word to it. Psychological terror. He could use that. It gave him power. Suddenly he realized what it must be like to be a Nietzschean. 'Did I just compare myself to an Uber?' Harper mentally asked himself. Shaking that thought out of his head Harper moved closer to the alien, still keeping his gun pointed at its head.

"Who are you?" Harper asked. His voice deeper then usual.

"I'll help you, I swear. Just don't kill me."

Harper fired a shot into the aliens leg. It fell to the deck in pain. "That's not what I ask you." He aimed his gun at the aliens other leg.

"Reprah." The alien quickly answered, nursing the wound that white blood now oozed from.

"Reprah? That's your name?" Harper checked.

"My name." It nodded its head too afraid to elaborate.

"What are you?"

"Scientists." The alien answered.

Harper kicked its wounded leg and it screamed in pain. "What species are you?" He clarified. But, realizing that the aliens answer actually was helpful.

"Quanvori."

"And you're scientists?"

"Yes."

"What are you doing on my ship?" Harper asked in a low threatening tone. 'Whoa, I'm channeling Dylan now. I really must be nuts.' He thought.

When Reprah didn't answer Harper kicked his wounded leg again.

"Experiments."

"What kind of experiments?"

Reprah looked around at the mist then back up at Harper.

Harper understood. "You did all of this? How? Why?"

"All of the information you seek is in our ships computers. I'll give you the access codes if you promise not to kill me."

"How 'bout I promise to promise to try and _think_ about not killing you?"

Reprah looked at the human, utterly confused.

"Tell ya what." Harper let his voice go back to normal. "Why don't you and I go to your ship together? That way, you wont have to give me the codes and I wont have to do what everyone else around here does and make a promise that I cant keep. Do we have a deal?"

"But, my leg."

"Oh that?" Harper waved his gun at the wound and silently chuckled when Repreh flinched. "That's nothing. Just a flesh wound. Now come along or end up like Mr. Pokie over there."

Grabbing the bulkhead for support (Harper didn't offer to help), Reprah lifted him/herself up. Harper could see that the little alien was in a lot of pain, and for a fraction of a second felt sorry for it. That is until he remembered that these things attacked the ship, invited themselves in, and tried to kill him. And Harper doesn't take too kindly to folks trying to kill him. Now, if what Reprah says (or rather didn't say) is true, they're also responsible for whatever the mist is doing to the crew and ship, all because of some stupid experiment. And Harper really doesn't take to kindly to folks turning him into some kinda test monkey.

"Move." Harper ordered. He kept is gun pointed at the alien and maintained a safe distance. Just in case.

Slowly they made their way to Hanger Bay 4, where the alien ships were docked.

"How many of your people are on this ship?" Harper asked.

"Twelve. Six per vessel."

"So that was before I turned your little friend back there into Magog food, right?"

Reprah hesitated before answering. "Yes. Only eleven now."

"Hate to break it to you, actually I don't, but there's probably a lot fewer then that now."

Reprah stop and turned to face Harper. "You've murdered more?"

"Me? No. But, some of my friends are on the loose, and they're bigger, meaner, and lets just say they've got an even more insatiable thirst for blood then I do." Harper grinned wickedly and charged his gunthat wasaimed it at the aliens head. "Now, keep walking."

Reprah did as ordered. "There's more of you alive then?" His voice quivering.

"Alive? Interesting choice of words." Harper could see how nervous Reprah had become and guessed it had nothing to do with the gun pointed at him/her. "Let me guess. You guys, or girls, whatever the hell you are, created this stuff." He kick at the mist. "Probably some form of advanced nano-tech. Dumped it out into space before you slip-streamed away, hoped we would take to bate and 'hide out' in it while we undergo repairs, the mist then creeps into the ship, makes us crazy, we kill each other, and you guys come in to claim your prize with absolutely no resistance. How close am I?"

Reprah look at Harper, his expression telling Harper everything he need to know. That he had guessed close enough. But, of course he did. He was after all a genius.

"So tell me something Rep, 'cause not knowing is starting to bug me. Are you male or female. No offense, but it's kinda hard to tell."

Reprah looked confused again.

Harper sighed. "Never mind." He wasn't in the mood to explain. "S'not important."

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They got to the Hanger Bay. Harper made Reprah go in first. Not seeing any other intruders he followed the alien over to one of the two Maru sized ships.

"FREEZE OR I'LL BLOW YOU TO SMITHEREENS!" A voice behind Harper yelled.

Harper turned to face Beka who was standing by the door. "You really need to work on your lines Bek, that was _totally_ lame."

"Shut up, Seamus. I'm not stupid, I know what you're up to."

"Oh, and what is that, _Rebecca?_"

"You betrayed us."

"Betrayed? I haven't betrayed anybody." Harper said confused. "And last I heard, you had the crazy notion that it was _us_ against you. So, whats with all the 'us' talk now, eh?"

"Shut up!"

"You've said that already."

"Yet you're still talking."

"Beka, you have no idea whats going on here, do you?"

"I've seen enough. I saw you with that thing." She pointed her gun at Rep who was cowering in the corner. "I should've known though. If there's one consistent thing about Seamus Harper, it's that he abandons his friends at the first sign of danger. I mean, first you betray Earth and every person you've known since you were born. TWICE! And now us?" She started laughing, but kept her gun aimed at the engineer. "Tell me, _imp_, have you ever done anything in your pathetic little life that wasn't self serving or cowardly?"

Harper couldn't believe that Beka would even go _there_. "So that's how it's gonna be then, is it?"

He raised his gun a little higher, aiming for her head. "I may have left Earth, Beka, but I sure as hell didn't betray it. If I remember correctly, that was Dylan. I did everything I could. I only came back because Rommie made me see that I belong here. That I'm needed here." He ignored Beka's snort. "You people need me. Hell, this ship would be space junk, if it weren't for me and you know it."

He took a few steps back toward the ship before continuing. "And you have no idea what Earth was like. Things I saw, and did, and lived through. You've never experienced horrors like that. But, look at yourself. You're always whining because you didn't get a perfect happy life. Mommy ran away, daddy was an addict, and brother stole your CD's, right? Well, get over it, honey. At least you didn't have to watch your parents get murdered right in front of you when you were only nine freakin' years old. You didn't have to watch nearly everyone else around you die at the hands of Ubers. Or get taken off by slavers. Or eaten or infested by Magog. Or freeze to death during particularly nasty winters. Or starve to death. Or die simply because they didn't have access to luxuries like medicine and clean water. At least you had shit, Beka. So don't you _dare_ judge me or question my motives for doing anything, because there's no way you could ever understand."

"Look," Harper continued when Beka didn't say anything. "Neither of us ever had anything handed to us on a silver platter. We both worked hard for everything we have today. Which is why, and listen very carefully when I say this, I'm_ not_ betraying you. I'm trying to fix this mess we're in. Because I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some helium speaking freaks come in and take away what I've worked for. So, SNAP OUT OF IT, BEKA! Get ahold of whatever sanity you have left and realize that we're on the same side here. We need to work together, not fight. If we do that, they win."

Harper finished and looked at Beka. Hoping he got through to her.

"Is that it?" Beka finally asked. "Are you done with your speech or would you like make another one, you self-important, deficient little man? All you ever do is talk!"

Harper sighed. That definitely didn't go the way he wanted it to. 'Oh well, time to improvise.'

"Just kill her, and be done with it." Gerentex appeared next to Harper. He was dressed in shorts and Hawaiian shirt. "She has it coming, you know? She called you a coward. The old Harper wouldn't stand for that sort of thing. What's happened to you, boy? A few years away from hell make you soft?"

Harper pointed his gun and the imaginary Nightsider. "Shut up!"

"Well, that puts me in my place." Beka said. "I must have _really_ struck a nerve if 'shut up' is the only come back the boy genius can think of."

Harper pointed his gun back at Beka.

"Go on." Gerentex encouraged. "Shoot her. Then we can go to the beach and get slapped by girls in bikinis."

"Is that _my_ shirt?" Harper asked the hallucination.

"Who else would own this out-of-style eyesore?" Gerentex replied. "Now kill her, Harper. Do it. Do it."

Harper pointed his gun at the Nightsider and charged it. "_Nobody_-disses-the-hula-shirt." He said slowly.

Gerentex backed away. "You'll regret this."

"No, I wont." Harper fired three shoots at Gerentex. Naturally, they passed right through the figment, but the Nightsiders body broke into hundreds of tiny fragments then dissolved into nothingness.

Beka looked on confused. "Are you cracking up, little man?"

Harper's attention was brought back to the women in front him.

She waved. "Hello?"

"Huh? I'm good. Listen, Beka-"

"Oh, no. I am tired of always having to listen to YOU!"

"Beka, I just shot Gerentex. He wanted me to kill you."

"Shut up. You're wrong, you know? We don't need you, here. I don't need you. And I'm starting to think this whole ship would be better off if I just killed you right now."

"Beka, don't-" He was cut off when Beka fired a shot at him. It missed and hit the alien ship he was standing by.

"You missed." Harper observed and fired back while taking cover behind the ship.

Beka dodged the shots and took cover on the other side. She returned fire.

There was a loud cry of pain. Both Harper and Beka's attention were drawn to the corner just as Reprah's lifeless body slumped to the floor. Harper slowly moved to the alien, keeping his gun fixed on Beka. He checked the alien for any sign of life.

"Oh, nice going, Beka, you killed my hostage."

"I'll get you a new one" she said sarcastically.

"But, I just broke this one in."

"So what?"

"Dammit, he was going to help us."

"If I were you, I'd be less worried about some dead alien and more worried about what I'm going to do to you." She fired a few more shots in Harper's direction. He ducked out of the way and quickly took cover by the ship opposite of her. Both continued to fire. Their poorly aimed shots ricocheted off the metal that surrounded them, until both guns were empty. Conveniently, at the same time.

"Crap!"

"Harper," Beka called. "Do you have any spare ammo?"

Harper threw his empty gun at her. She threw hers back. Like the bullets they once carried, both guns missed their intended targets.

Neither Harper nor Beka moved from their positions. The minutes ticked by. Finally, Beka couldn't take it anymore and made a run for the door. Harper was too quick for her though, and easily managed to catch her before she escaped. He tackled her from behind and they both fell to the floor. He kept a firm grip on Beka's arms so she couldn't get away. She struggled, but Harper was a lot stronger then he appeared to be. He rolled her over so they were face to face and straddled her stomach.

Beka laughed. "You've always wanted me in this position, haven't you, Seamus?"

"Shut up" he said in a low commanding voice. The same tone he used to frighten Rep.

She smiled. "I never knew you were so demanding, Harper." She was using her eye's to check out his body. "I like it."

Harper noticed Beka was using her 'sexy' voice now. He wondered for a second how he knew that Beka even had a 'sexy' voice. Then he wondered how he knew what her 'sexy' voice sounded like. She certainly never used it on him before. He pushed those thoughts aside.

"I'm not gonna fall for it, Beka. Now, be a good little girl, and hold still."

"Emm, you're so sexy and forceful. You know, if you'd have been like this on the Maru we might not have made some of those salvage runs. We would have been too busy doing _other_ things." She smiled suggestively.

It took his brain a moment to process what was happening. Beka was flirting with him. _'It's just a trick'_ his mind told him. _'Well of course it's a trick'_ he told his mind back. _'Don't get snappy with me'_ his mind returned.

Unable to move much since Harper had her pinned to the deck, Beka lifted her head up bringing her face as close to Harper's as she could get.

Harper moved in a little closer. "Five minutes ago, you wanted me dead."

"What, a girls not allowed to change her mind?" Beka tried to get closer, but Harper's grip on her arms was preventing her. "Besides, that was before I knew how..._useful_ you could be." She stroked his thigh with a free finger causing Harper to loosen his grip. Beka broke her arms free and pulled Harper's face down to her own, kissing him passionately.

Kissing led to rubbing, and the rubbing was leading some place Harper didn't want to go. Not with Beka, anyway. It was too creepy. Like making out with your sister creepy. Slowly, so Beka wouldn't notice, Harper pulled the last hypo-spray from his pocket. It was broken. '_Typical_' he thought. He'd just have to knock her out some other way. Breaking the kiss, Harper grabbed Beka's head and slammed it into the deck, knocking her unconscious.

"She is _so_gonna kill me" he told himself.

Quickly he searched around the alien ships, but found no visible entrance. Realizing Beka killed the only person around at the moment who could get him inside, he decided to head back to Command and check in with Rommie and Tyr. He could use their help with capturing another one of the aliens. That is, unless of course they've already killed them all. He want back to Beka's prone body. Knowing she'd be to heavyfor him tocarry he grabbed both her arms and started dragging her to Command.

"Oh, yeah. I'm a dead man."

-----------------------------

**Please review and let me know what you think.**


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry it took so long to update. I didn't expect it to take two weeks to write this chapter. My only defense, I kept getting distracted by shiny objects.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I love reviews, and you guys totally rule.

Rommie's Voice, no personally, I don't want to see you beg, but I think maybe those damn shiny objects do. ;-)

Oh, and sorry if the stuff that's supposed to be funny isn't. I wrote most of this at like 4am, and for some reason everything seems funnier at that time. It also apparently increases the number of typos and misspelled words...

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**Chapter 10**

Dragging the unconscious Beka, Harper left the Hanger Bay and started for Command. Any other time he would have taken a more stealthy route in order to avoid their unfriendly guests. Especially now that he was weaponless. However, a journey through the ship via conduits wasn't an option as long as he still pulled his blonde burden behind him. He would just have to take the chance to get himself and Beka to Command. Hopefully, he could do so without incident.

But, Harper doubted that would be the case and he was slightly irritated when he caught himself thinking _'It's never easy_.' That was Dylan's line. He always said it. At least once a day. It was very annoying, and Harper was convinced that every morning Dylan wakes up, looks at himself in the mirror, rubs his face with his hands, sighs andrepeats "It's never easy. It's never easy," until he gets it down.

In fact, Harper knows that's exactly what Dylan does because he's seen him do it. One good thing about being a super genius, little things like "privacy mode" can be easily overridden. Because of that, Harper knows quite a few things about his crew mates, that no doubt they'd rather keep secret. It's amazing what people do when they think no one else is watching. Tyr, for example, likes to take off his shirt and flex his muscles in front of a mirror while giving himself disturbing and graphic, yet surprisingly poetic inspirational speeches about killing his enemies, restoring his Pride and revenging someone called Mr. Fuzzy Teddy Tums. Whatever that's about!

Harper was nearing a junction when he heard the high pitched voice of one of the intruders. Quickly he peeked around the corner and saw two of the aliens headed his way. They appeared to be deep in conversation and luckily still far enough away that they didn't notice him. Quickly he set Beka up against the bulkhead so that the top half of her body was clearly visible above the mist, and darted up the ladder on the other side. Only going far up enough not to be seen, but staying low enough so that he could see what was happening below. Within minutes the aliens turned the corner, and their conversation stopped suddenly when they noticed Beka. Slowly they approached her, weapons raised. Harper had anticipated this. He convinced himself that they probably wouldn't shoot Beka while she was unconscious, and decided to wait before making his move.

He silently watched the aliens as they started to roughly poke Beka. Suddenly, he felt like an animal in the wild, stalking it's pray. Just waiting for the opportune moment to pounce. He smiled at that thought. Whether it was the drug he has taken or the adrenaline rush he was getting from the situation, something in Seamus Harper sparked. A need to protect. A will to fight. Because as dysfunctional and messed up as they were, Beka, Trance, Rommie, Tyr and Dylan were his family. Andromeda was his home, and nobody was going to take that away from him.

Faster then even he thought possible, Harper jumped from the ladder to the deck below. Catching the aliens off guard he had time to kick the legs out from under the nearest one causing it to fall backwards before the second alien opened fire. He dodged the first three shots, but the fourth hit him directly in the chest. The impact knocked him back into the bulkhead, temporarily stunned. He looked down at himself, fully expecting to see blood and burnt flesh, only noticing as he was hit with another shot from the alien weapon that, while still painful, it felt more like being struck with a heavy object rather then actually getting shot. He remembered the blow to the head he received when Reprah and Mr. Pokie attacked him and realized that a shot from their weapon must have been what hit him.

Harper leaned against the bulkhead gasping for breath. The two shots had knocked the wind out of him and he needed to recover. The alien kept it's riffle sized weapon pointed at Harper as it slowly walked towards him. It said something to the other one in a fast squeaky language that Harper didn't recognize, and it hastily picked it's-self up off the floor. Apparently to stand guard for the other. Harper kept his eyes locked on the approaching alien. He could tell that it wasn't as intimidated by him as Rep had been. Or at least, it didn't show it as well.

The good thing was that the guns pointed at him probably couldn't kill him. The bad, he didn't have much on his person that could sub for a weapon. But then, he always did love punching things. And with the night he was having, he imagined punching the crap out of something would feel pretty good.

Hoping neither of the aliens would notice, he slowly pulled the flashlight from his pocket and waited for the creature to get closer.

"Hey, guys." Harper spoke up for the first time. "Not lost are you?"

"You live," the alien simply said.

Harper couldn't tell if it was question or an observation. "Er, yeah, I live. But, you wont if you don't get off this ship."

"We study," the second alien told him.

"I know. You're scientists, right?" Harper noticed the surprised looks on the aliens faces. "Oh, I ran into your buddy Rep," he informed them.

"Reprah?" The alien closest to Harper took another step forward. "Where Reprah?"

"Reprah dead." Harper mimicked the accent of the alien.

"You killed?"

"Me? No, that was sleeping beauty over there." He pointed to Beka. "Oh lookie," he said excitedly. "Princess is waking up."

Both aliens turned to look in the direction Harper was pointing.

_'Wow, can't believe they actually fell for that,'_ Harper thought.

Not wasting any time now that the aliens were distracted, he quickly turned the flashlight on and ran forward, shining it in the nearest aliens face, blinding it.

Surprised the aliens grip on its gun was weakened and Harper managed to pull it away and hit it over the head. It shrieked in pain and fell to its knees.

Harper ran for the second alien. It dropped it's gun in panic and tried to run, but Harper caught it by the neck and shoved it into the bulkhead. He tightened his grip around it's neck and it struggled as he began to lift it up. Its feet were dangling helpless above the deck and it started to suffocate under Harper's hold.

Harper felt a sharp pain in the back of his neck that caused him to lose his grip on the alien and it fall to the deck below. Turning, Harper saw the first alien standing behind him, holding a small silver syringe.

"What the hell did you inject me with?" Harper asked furiously and kicked the alien lying at his feet.

The first alien moved forward and pulled the other away from the violent engineer, without saying a word.

Harper was about to jump the alien when his vision started to get blurry and he suddenly felt like his whole head was going to explode. Grasping his head in pain he fell to his knees and waited for the unpleasant sensation to pass.

"What the FUCK did you freaks do to me?" he asked through clinched teeth.

Neither of the aliens answered, and Harper noticed the nervous glances they shared before both took a few steps back, away from the irate human.

The initial pain was starting to subside, but it was quickly being replaced by a feeling of light-handedness.

"Oh man," Harper moaned when the corridor started spinning and Beka's head turned green and grew three sizes. "Whoa, this is just like that time I got wasted and OD'd on 'Happy Pills'."

His head was spinning. Everything was spinning. "Pretty," he whispered and moved his hands through the multi-coloured mist, and watched it swirl around a bit. Completely ignoring the aliens that were stood near by, he crawled to Beka, propped against the bulkhead.

"Beka" he tried shaking her back to the land of the conscious. "I feel weird."

He gave up trying to wake her and rested his head on her shoulder. The extra weight caused Beka's body to tip sideways and she fell over onto the deck.

Harper tried setting her back up, but she fell over again with a thud, making him laugh hysterically.

The aliens watched on in fascination. Whatever they gave him, this was not it's usual side effect.

Still giggling to himself, Harper took notice of the aliens for the first time in a several minutes. They were studying him. Watching him play 'Weekend at Bernies' with Beka, and he didn't like it. He took in a few deep breaths in an attempt to clear his head. It worked a little. Things stopped spinning at least, and he was able to focus more.

"Hey freaks," he called out and slowly lifted himself to his feet. "Ever play dodge-ball?"

The aliens looked at each other confused, then back a Harper just as he threw his yo-yo with precise precision, hitting the first alien directly between the eye's. While it was stunned, Harper went for the second alien and easily pulled the weapon from its grasp. His fist made contact with the side of its face and it fell to the deck. On impulse Harper pulled his arms back, and with full force brought the butt of the riffle down on the aliens throat, crushing it.

Harper didn't have time to react as the first alien jumped on his back, wrapped its legs around his waste, its hands around his throat, and started to choke him. He tried to wiggle out of the things hold, but it was surprisingly stronger then its diminutive size would indicate and he was unable to get himself free.

"Get the hell off me," Harper spit out before the aliens grip tightened, cutting off his air supply.

The alien however had other plans, and continued to strangle him. Desperate, Harper madly swung his body around and ran backwards into the bulkhead.

The aliens grip only loosened slightly when its body impacted the wall. Harper repeated this action several more times, slamming the alien into the bulkhead. Finally, dazing it enough that it let go of Harper completely and fell back to the deck. Harper didn't give it a chance to recover before he wrapped his arms around its neck and twisted until he heard a satisfying crack. The alien was dead instantly.

Harper took in a much needed breath of air, and slumped against the bulkhead, rubbing his sore neck. I knew he probably shouldn't have killed both aliens.He still needed one to get him inside the ship. But, there were more around somewhere, and these two had really pissed him off. Remembering he needed to get to Command he picked himself up and swayed a little when he was hit with a dizzy spell.

"Head rush," he muttered and placed an open palm on his forehead. "Trippy!"

The dizziness passed. Harper could see the broken pieces of his yo-yo through the mist and kicked at them. "Bloody waste," he muttered.

He picked up one of the alien weapons and examined it. He gathered it was like any other gun, it just had different settings.He couldn't imagine any race would be stupid enough to go about without a weapon that could actually inflict damage rather then just simply annoying an enemy. He toyed with some of the strange buttons, hoping he didn't inadvertently cause it to overload and explode. He tested it a few times, making new adjustments, but the weapon seemed to only fire compressed air. Deciding it was useless, Harper tossed the gun aside and went to fetch Beka and resume his trek to Command.

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Harper reached Command and couldn't stop himself from smiling when he saw four of the intruders lying dead near the doors. Rommie and Tyr were as efficient as always.

Andromeda opened the doors and allowed him to enter.

"Hiya, kids," Harper called out as he entered Command. "Daddy's home."

"HARPER!"

A gold blurry figure immediately ponced on him, sending them both to the deck.

"Trance," Harper acknowledged the women on top of him. "You're awake."

She began kissing his neck.

"Uh, Trance, could you not-"

He was stopped mid-sentence by an involuntary moan on his part, when Trance's tongue found a particularly sensitive spot. He heard someone clear their throat and looked over to see Tyr and Rommie watching the scene with amused expressions.

"Some help here would be nice," he told them.

Tyr stepped forward extending his bone blades, but Rommie held him back. She rolled her eyes and went to pull Trance off of Harper herself.

"Let go of me," Trance demanded, and futilely attempted to free herself from the androids hold.

"Thanks," Harper said getting up.

"What happened to her?" Tyr asked, nodding his head towards Beka.

"She wasn't being very agreeable," Harper simply told them.

It was about that time he heard a muffled cry and turned to see, who could only be Dylan tied to the railing. His sheet/cape was thrown over his head and he was struggling underneath it.

"I demand that you untie me this instant!"

"'Kay," Harper looked between Tyr and Rommie. "Whys Dylan tied up?"

"Well," Rommie smiled. "He wasn't being very agreeable either."

Harper grinned mischievously and crept over to Dylan. Crouching down next to the captain he began poking him trough the sheet.

"Stop that," Dylan demanded.

Harper started laughing and continued poking.

"Whoever you are, you will be punished," the captain threatened.

This only amused Harper more, and he lost his balance and fell over, laughing uncontrollably.

"Harper, are you okay?" Rommie asked, curious at her engineers behavior.

Harper turned over to look at Rommie. Noticing that while he was having his fun she had tied up the still protesting Trance, and Tyr had moved Beka away from the door and was attempting to rouse her.

"I think she's coming around," Tyr informed the room.

"You might wanna tie her up as well," suggested Harper and sat up on his knees.

Tyr nodded in agreement and proceeded to do so.

"Harper, is something wrong?" Rommie questioned. "Your pupils are dilated and I'm detecting an elevation in your heart rate."

"I'm good, Rom-doll, I just-" Harper tried waving off her concern, but became distracted by his own hand.

"Harper?"

"Freaky," he muttered, slowly waving his hand back and forth.

"What?" Rommie went to his side. "Harper?"

He didn't reply.

"Maybe he's sick," Trance suggested. "I should give him a thorough examination."

"Harper?" Rommie gently shook him.

"Huh?" he snapped out of his trance and blinked a few times before realizing Rommie was beside him. "Rommie!" He smiled and started petting the top of her head. "You're shiny."

"What's wrong with him?" Tyr asked moving next to the android.

"I think he's... _high_," she answered.

"High?" Tyr questioned.

"On drugs."

"Hey, I'm not on drugs," Harper said defensively. "You're on drugs. This whole freakin' ships on drugs" his voice got louder with every word, and he waved his arms around dramatically. "And for god sakes Tyr, next time you wear a short dress, have the decency to put on some panties too. You're bound to poke someones eye out with _that_ thing."

Tyr backed away and attempted to cover himself better. There was a soft moan and everyones attention was drawn to a newly conscious Beka.

"What happened?" Beka asked confused before paranoia kicked in and she forgot about the pounding headache threatening to burst her skill open. "What's going on? Why have I been brought here?" she demanded to know and scanned the room, stopping when her eyes landed on Tyr. "Is that _my_ dress?"

Tyr took a defensive stance. "You weren't using it."

Beka growled and struggled with her binds. "Let me go."

"Let _me_ go." Trance also demanded.

"Let ME go." Dylan repeated from under his sheet.

Tyr looked at each captive in turn. "No, no, and most certainly NO!"

Harper bounced over to Beka with a huge smile on his face. "Hey, boss lady, sorry 'bout the concussion and all."

"You look sorry," she observed sarcastically. "I swear when I get loose, I'm going to ring your scrawny little neck."

"That ain't much of an incentive, for lettin' you go then." Harper informed her, not bothered by her threat.

Beka tried kicking him with her free legs, but he moved away, still bouncing. "Ugh, I can't believe I kissed you," she said appalled. "YOU!"

"YOU WHAT?" Trance yelled angrily.

"It's true," Andromeda's AI announced from the viewscreen. She smiled evilly. "I have footage."

The screen next to her played a brief scene, recorded in the Hanger Bay. Harper straddling Beka while the two made out. It cut off before he knocked her unconscious.

"EVERYBODY BE QUIET" Harper suddenly yelled, startling everyone. The room however, was already silent except for Trance's angry muttering and Dylan's complaints about not being able to see the footage. "Who the hell let frogs in here?"

"Frogs, Harper?" Rommie asked uncertain.

"Yes, _frogs_," Harper snapped. "It's a freakin' invasion," he looked around frantically. "Don't you see them?"

"No!" Everyone informed him.

"I can't see anything under _here_," Dylan sighed.

"Stupid purple hoppy things, hoppin' around like they own the place. I'll get them. I'll get them all."

Four sets of eyes followed Harper as he ran around Command muttering to himself and trying to catch the imaginary purple frogs.

"Why the hell is he doing that?" Bake asked annoyed.

"I believe he's under the influence of some sort of narcotic," Rommie informed the XO.

"Don't try to change the subject," Trance called after Harper. "We need to have a serious talk about stuff."

"Yeah, us too!" Beka yelled.

"Harper, calm down," Rommie grabbed his arm as he ran past her. "There are no frogs. They're in your head."

"In my head," Harper agreed. "Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe _you're_ in my head too. Maybe you're not real. Or maybe _I'm_ not real," he seemed to have an epiphany and turned to Rommie. "What if we don't really exist? Or, what if we do exist, but we're like made of cheese and have to live in a virtual environment or something 'cause we're moldy and smell bad?"

"Harper, you're not making any sense," Rommie tried calming him. "Try to focus."

"Focus?" he nodded. "I can do that."

"That's good," Rommie encouraged. "Do you remember that we've been boarded?"

"...Frogs?" he asked unsure.

Rommie sighed. "No, the frogs aren't real."

"Right," Harper remembered. "Um, pale guys, beady eyes, annoying little voices, kinda dumb, fragile necks, not exactly our scariest foe?"

Tyr nodded. "You've met them."

"Had one hostage 'til Trigger McHappy-Fingers over there shot it."

"It looked at me funny."

"That's _just_ the way they look, Beka."

"Well, I didn't like it. Now, undo me."

"No!" Harper told her. "No ones going anywhere until we've all had a nice little chat."

"Could you at least uncover my face so I can see?" Dylan pleaded.

Harper ignored him. "So, now that we're all together, and so_ very_ happy, do you think we can try to be normal for five frickin' minutes?"

"Untie us, then we'll talk," Bake stated. Trance nodded in agreement. Dylan probably did too, but no one saw it.

Harper sighed. "Look, it's like Rommie said, we need to focus. So can you just shut it and listen?"

"Why should any of us listen to _you_?" Beka asked Harper. "_We_ aren't the ones imagining little purple things, are we?"

"_No_, you're the ones that have been running about like complete nutters all night," Harper retorted. "Sure, I've been actin' a little wacko myself. Not denying it. Hell, I've even been seeing Gerentex like he's Harvey the freakin' rabbit. Crazy, right? But, kookoo that am, _I'm_ not the one having paranoid delusions. _I'm_ not the one who wants to start blowing up drifts, or putting on dresses, or seducing my friends. ..._Well_, maybe the last one. My point is that, _I'm_ still keeping it under control."

Beka snorted. "Hardly!"

"She has a point, Harper." Rommie spoke up. "You're having hallucinations. That isn't what I'd call control."

"Okay, whatever that freakazoid injected me with is screwin' with my head, big time," Harper admitted. "But, if I stay calm and concentrate, things get a bit clearer."

"Whatwere youinjected with?" Trance asked concerned.

"Well, I asked, naturally, but I guess they didn't feel inclined to tell me. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have killed them without getting some answers first."

"Perhaps I should check you for other injures." Trance offered sweetly. "I need to give you a complete physical. Just in case."

"Uh, maybe later," Harper told her and pushed some rather dirty images from his mind. It wasn't the time for that. "Now, I've been trying to tell you guys that the mist crap is messin' with our heads. But like always, nobody listened to Harper. And like always, the Harper was right." He removed the sheet covering Dylan.

Beka rolled her eyes. "Get on with it."

"Fine," Harper took in a few deep breaths to clear his head. "Well, these aliens aren't exactly a talkative bunch, but I've gathered that everything that has happened so far was set up by them. Trance, darling?"

"Yes, Shay love?"

Harper was thrown off a bit by Trance's new nickname for him. It was kinda cute. "You, uh, you said you analyzed some of the mist, right?"

"I did."

"Could you please share the results with the rest of class?"

She sighed. "The mist itself is made up of mostly nanites, however, there are also extremely high amounts of organic compounds. I've never seen anything like it before."

"See?" Harper smiled smugly. "I tried to tell ya it wasn't a real nebula."

Andromeda's AI appeared on the viewscreen again. "And what made you so sure?"

"Remember when I was running that scan of this sector down in Engineering?"

"You mean when you supposed to be fixing my slipdrive? Yes."

"Well, it accrued to me that my scan didn't actually detect any convenient nebula's to hide out in at the time. So, ergo, it must have appeared _after_ the attack."

Tyr stepped forward. "You're suggesting that these creatures planted the cloud? For what purpose?"

"Well, they knew they damaged our silpdrive. That was the plan. They knew we'd most likely seek cover in it, while we underwent repairs. After that it was just a matter of waiting 'til their little guys took control of our minds, drove us insane and we killed each other. Or saomethin' sorta like that."

"And how did you come up with that conclusion?" Beka asked sceptically.

"Well, I'd know for sure if I could have gotten inside one of their ships," he glared at Beka. "But, as it is, I was only left with my genius and the words of my short lived buddy Reprah."

"Reprah?" Rommie asked curiously.

"My hostage. He basically told me that they're scientists, Quanvori, I think he said, and that this is all some kind of experiment. Things didn't go to plan and we were all effected differently. I'm guessing Beka's reaction was more or less what they had planned for all of us though. They didn't really expect to find anyone alive, hence the lame weaponry."

"So," Rommie started. "They've developed a form of new nanobot that adapts it's-self to whatever environment it's introduced to, and decided to use us as their test subjects?"

"Yep."

"What do you suggest we do about it?" Tyr asked, but already having a few ideas of his own.

"First, get the hell out of this cloud," Harper suggested. "Then we vent the ship."

"That may solve the mist and intruder problem, but how will that help us?" Rommie asked doubtfully.

"I got an idea," Harper admitted. "But, it's risky and I don't think you're gonna like it."

"And that would be?"

"One problem at a time, Rom-doll. Andromeda," Harper turned to the AI viewscreen. "What are our nice little friends doing now?"

"How should I know?"

"Try using your sensors."

She sighed. "Oh, alright."

"Well?" Harper asked impatiently.

"The eight remaining aliens have gathered in Engineering."

"What are they doing?"

His question was answered when the lights flickered and went out.

"The lights went out."

"You know, Tyr?" Harper turned to the Nietzschean. "Your powers of observation never fail to stun me."

"They're attempting to cut power to all but vital-" the AI got out before the power was cut and the viewscreen went black.

"Hey, at least we have emergency lighting." Harper chirped.

"Harper," Rommie said slowly. "Somethings wrong with-" she slumped over lifeless.

"Rommie?" he went to the avatars side. "Okay, this doesn't make sense," he told the others. "She wasn't even connected to the ship."

"Can you get the ship back online?" Tyr asked Harper.

"Right now?" Harper laughed. "I'm totally tweaking, seeing purple frogs and thinkin' we're all made of cheese, but yeah, get me to Engineering and I can fix it. I think."

"Good, we'll all go," Beka agreed. "Now, stop wasting time and untie me."

"Wait," Harper stopped Tyr who was about to set Beka free. "We can't trust that she wont try to kill us again."

"Hold on, you can't trust me?" Beka scoffed. "You're the one that nearly cracked my skull open."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Beka. I could've just let you continue doing what you were doing," he smiled suggestively.

Beka shrugged, but didn'treply. Something Harper found rather interesting.

"Harper, without power or the ship's AI, we're going to have to take out these creatures personally." Tyr informed. "Who else do you suggest does this, if not Captain Valentine? Surely not," he pointed to Dylan.

"You and I should be more then sufficient.," Harper answered. "Unless you're afraid to get blood on your pretty dress."

"_My_ dress." Beka reminded.

"And them?" Tyr gestured to the three captives.

"This is still my ship," Dylan spoke up. "Shouldn't I be the one doing the saving?"

"Not this time," Harper grinned. "This time, Captain Hero, you'll be tied up, and can't possibly take credit for my work."

"But, you can't just leave me here." Dylan whined. "It's dark."

"We'll seal the doors, you'll be fine." Harper replied. "Bats like it dark remember?" He patted Dylan's shoulder and threw the sheet back over him. "Now, go to sleep or something."

"What about me?" Trance asked hopefully. "If you let me come, I promise I'll be a good girl." Her tone and smile suggested differently. "I told you I'm not effected by the mist."

Harper went to her. He knelt down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Knowing if all went to plan, it'd probably the last time he could get away with it. He pulled back and gently brushed her cheek with his hand. "I wish that were true, Trance," he said sadly. "More then you'll ever know."

"We should make haste," Tyr informed the engineer. "The aliens may not linger in Engineering much longer."

"One moment." Harper went to Rommie and grabbed both her force lances. She wasn't going to need them. "Thanks," he whispered and went to help Tyr who was already trying to pry open the Command doors.

They managed to crack them enough for Harper and Tyr to squeeze through. Closing them from the other side was a little trickier, and they couldn't quite get them shut all the way. Something Beka did not approve of, and was quite vocal about.

"Oh, hey Beka," Harper called back through the doors. "Tyr's wearing your dress, but he ain't wearing much else, if you know what mean."

Beka's shouts of disgust were heard down the corridor as Harper and Tyr hurried down to Engineering.

"Maybe we shoulda gaged her," Harper mused.

"Do you think it's wise leaving them defenseless?"

"Well, no, but if we do this right, they ain't gonna be needin' defenses," Harper replied. His grammar worse then usual.

"Can you do this?" the Nietzschean asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm good," Harper answered. "You know? I'm sorry for makin' fun of the dress, Tyr. If you wanna wear a dress, then you wear a freakin' dress. And you work it, and don't take any lip from no-one either. Got it?"

"Thank you for saying that, Harper," Tyr said and rustled up Harper's already disheveled spikes. "You know, you should try it."

"What, a dress?"

"Or a skirt. It's very liberating."

"I'll stick to cargo pants, thanks."

"As you wish," Tyr dropped the subject.

"Hey Tyr?" Harper stared wearily. "Can I ask you a question? It might be kinda personal."

"Have I not already told you about my experience with puberty?" Tyr asked amused. "What's more personal then that?"

"Okay," Harper cringed, remembering his earlier conversation with the Niet. "I was just wondering, who's Mr. Fuzzy Teddy Tums?"

Tyr stopped in his tracks and turned to face the younger man. Harper couldn't tell if he should run for his life or prepare to comfort a blubbering Nietzschean again.

"Where did you here that name?" Tyr asked calmly.

"I don't know," Harper lied. "I'm sorry I brought it up. I was just curious and thought, since we're friends and all," he left the sentence hanging.

"You wish to know?"

"Only if you wanna tell me."

Tyr took a moment to look Harper over. "Very well," he nodded. "I will tell you."

So, Tyr proceeded to tell the story of Mr. Fuzzy Teddy Tums as the pair made their way to Engineering and the unsuspecting intruders.

TBC

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This is the part where I say "Please review," but I figure it's a pretty pointless thing to say since you'll only review if you want to anyway, right? All I can say is that reviews make me very happy and are always welcomed. ;)


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I know it's been forever since I updated. If fact, you've probably forgotten everything that's happened so far... I AM SO SORRY! Honestly, I never meant to go so long between updates, and I promise to have the next (probably last) chapter up much, MUCH sooner. This chapter was longer, but I decided to spit it, so I could post something now, and work on the rest. I'm not completely happy with how it turned out, but since I'm planning on rewriting/editing this story once it's finished I thought I'd go ahead and post it. I know it's not perfect so please leave feedback, let me know what you think, and if there is something I should work on. Again, I'm sorry it took so long to update.

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**Chapter 11**

Silence. It felt strange. He felt strange. Harper had lived on Andromeda for two years and he had never seen her so lifeless before. There was no power. No AI. Not even the pleasant humming of the her massive engines to stave off the disheartening quietness. There was noting. Just the dark, and the cold, and an unfamiliar stillness.

It was eerie.

"You're not going to tell the others what I've told you?" Tyr asked, speaking for the first time since finishing his tale of the mysterious Mr. Teddy Tum Tums.

"Don't worry," Harper said, welcoming the distraction from his bleak thoughts. "Won't be telling anybody, ANYTHING about what I've heard, seen, or done tonight," Harper assured Tyr, as the two finally reached the Engineering section. The door was open and they could hear several of the aliens moving around inside. Tyr quickly scanned room, immediately spotting five of the eight remaining intruders.

"So, Tyr," Harper whispered. "How we gonna do this? Stealthy-ninja like, or go in guns-a-blazzin'?"

The Nietzschean considered the question. "What do you prefer?"

Harper held up one of the forcelances he had 'borrowed' from Rommie and grinned. "Explosions, of course."

Tyr smiled at the young man's enthusiasm but shook his head. "That may damage important instruments we'll need to fix this ship."

Harper hesitated. "Possibly..."

"We'll do it my way," Tyr stated and put a finger to his lips, silencing Harper before he could ask what that way was.

Moving closer to the door Tyr used the barrel of his gun to tap on the bulkhead a few times. The resulting echo carried through the deserted corridor and into the Engineering room.

"Are you insane?" Harper hissed.

Tyr again held a finger to his lips and pointed to the door and the suddenly still room. They heard footsteps approaching and moments later a lone alien entered the corridor to investigate the strange noise. Much to its surprise it was immediately killed when a large, dark masculine woman in a pink frilly dress, roughly shoved it into the arms of a small spiky haired human, who then rudely snapped it's neck. It's last thoughts were _'This is so cliché.'_

Harper let the body drop to the deck with a thud. "You really think that's gonna work four more times?"

Tyr shrugged but offered no more.

"Great," Harper muttered and keyed with some controls on the forcelance.

"What are you doing?" Tyr asked, already knowing the answer.

"My way," Harper said, pressing the last button he threw the charging weapon through the door.

Before he or Tyr could take cover, a large explosion erupted from inside, blasting out bits of machinery, debris and Quanvori into the corridor. Both ducked out of the way, and fell back against the bulkhead. Harper didn't have time to react as a large part of the overhead ceiling collapsed, and several heavy pieces of the bulkhead came crashing down onto him and Tyr.

_'Damn, must've had the power setting too high,'_ was all that went through Harper's head before everything went dark.

_'Perhaps this was not a good day to try freeballing...'_ Tyr thought as he threw himself over Harper in an attempt to protect the small human from the falling debris.

----------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, on Command...

Dylan sighed from under his sheet. "It's not an easy decision, Trance."

"There are only two choices," Trance yelled across the room. "Just pick one!"

"Dare," the captain said, unsure.

"Dare isn't an option!"

"Why not?"

"Because, Captain Genius," Beka snapped. "We're tied up! What could she dare you to do?"

"So, our choices are truth or truth?" he checked.

"Yes," Trance answered impatiently.

"Then I don't want to play."

"Oh, come on," Trance whined. "What does Batman have to hide anyway?" she asked amused. "Did Catwoman give you crabs?"

"How did-" Dylan cut himself off and cleared his throat. "That question is highly inappropriate, and I refuse to play this so-called game any longer."

Beka, who had been pulling at her bonds, was growing very annoyed with her fellow captives. "Aren't either of you even the least bit worried? Hostile aliens have taken over the ship, the AI's offline, and we're tied up here, playing stupid games while our only saviors, RuPaul and Hobbit Boy go off to do God knows what."

Trance looked at Beka, confused. "Who's RuPaul?"

"What's a hobbit?" Dylan questioned.

Beka growled in frustration, and continued trying to free herself.

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Sometime later...

"Crap," Harper moaned as he returned to consciousness and remembered that he had nearly killed himself and Tyr. '_Well, Seamus, finally something new to add to the_ Things Not To Do When You're High_ list.'_ That being a reasonably self explanatory mental list Harper kept, which grew quite long during his early years on Earth. Of course the Things Not To Do When You're Drunk list was much longer, and neither compared to the general Things Not To Do list. None of which he bothered remembering anyway.

It took Harper a moment to become fully aware again. He was surrounded by darkness and as far as he could tell, he was trapped under a mountain of rubble. His head was pounding, his body ached, and it was way too quiet for his liking. The only thing he was sure of, was that there was very large, very heavy, and very prone body lying on top of him.

"Tyr?" Harper whispered, moving out from under his not-so-comfortable Nietzschean blanket.

"Hey, Tyr," Harper tried again, nervously. "Not a good time for a nap, big guy."

Worried when Tyr didn't respond Harper checked for a pulse and was relieved to find that the Niet was alive and breathing, just unconscious.

Harper pulled the torch from his pocket and thanked the Divine when it clicked on. _'At least something is working right.'_ Once his eyes had time to adjust, Harper moved the light around the small open space he found himself and Tyr trapped under. It was formed by a fallen support beam, ceiling grates, and other large pieces of debris, which had remarkably created a protective cover for the two and kept them from being crushed under the rest of the rubble. _'How incredibly unlikely,'_ Harper briefly thought, then shrugged it off. The light, and Harper's eyes suddenly landed on the form of Tyr who was lying in an awkward position with his, or rather Beka's now dirty, torn dress pulled up revealing a little more of the Nietzschean than Harper cared to see. "Well, Tyr, that certainly explains why you're so angry all the time," Harper commented, covering Tyr's bits. _'Now, how do we get outta here?'_

To Harper's relief he found that the large metal beam 'holding back certain death' was securely logged between the deck and the bulkhead and wouldn't come crashing down on them if he attempted to dig his way out... At least he hoped. After all, being splatted into a bloody mess of Harper pancake wasn't a very dignified way to go, even if it was trying to save the ship.

_'Who're we saving it from again?'_ Harper thought. _'...Frogs?'_

"No, not frogs, Seamus," he reminded himself, blaming a possible concussion for his confusion.

He was suddenly aware of movement on the other side of the debris wall. He was startled when some of the rubble was removed to reveal three of the aliens. Even in the dim emergency lighting of the corridor, Harper could tell that they were well armed and extremely pissed off.

"Hola, freaky albino dudes," Harper said, trying his best to look innocent. "Some explosion! What a highly unfortunate and equally improbable thing to happen, eh?"

They weren't buying it.

_'Well, it was worth a shot.'_

Two of the aliens took hold of Harper's already sore arms and pulled him to his feet. The third continued removing the debris that still covered Tyr. Once the Nietzschean was successfully unburied the alien attempted to move him.

"I'd be careful with him," Harper warned. "He bits."

The aliens glared at the engineer.

"He's a biter," Harper tried to explain.

The alien next to Tyr shook it's head and continued with it's futile attempts.

"It's true, you know," Harper casually whispered to the alien on his right. "I saw him go Mike Tyson on a Magog this one time. That must've been wicked gross," he turned to the alien on his left and smiled menacingly. "Wonder what you'd taste like."

Annoyed the alien gripped Harper's arm tighter, but didn't speak.

"Would it still be considered cannibalism?" Harper mused. "I mean, technically you're not human, so it should be okay, right?"

He looked between the two aliens hoping for some sort of reaction, frowning when they completely ignored him.

"Not big talkers are ya?"

No response.

"Okaaay. Well, I think I'll be off then," Harper announced and using what strength he had, he broke free and ran at the quickest pace he could manage. As expected all three aliens abandoned the sleeping Nietzschean to pursue their wayward prisoner. They were fast, and Harper wasn't in the best of conditions. His head was still pounding, his strength was waning rapidly, and he was finding it more and more difficult to focus. He didn't get far before the aliens caught up and opened fire. A very real and painful shot hit Harper in the shoulder sending him tumbling to the deck. Sitting up, Harper used his hand to inspect the damage. A sharp pain shot through his whole body when he made contact with the wound and he quickly withdrew a blood covered hand.

"Son of a-" Harper was cut off when three charged weapons were shoved in his face by the three irritated aliens.

"You shot me," Harper said in disbelief. "You freaks actually shot me."

"You flee," one of the aliens pointed out with it's high-pitched voice.

"Well, no shit," Harper said. "What'd you expect?"

"...Not flee," the same alien suggested.

"Don't get cheeky with me!" Harper sneered. "Stupid alien!"

"Up," the lead alien demanded, charging it's weapon again.

Slowly Harper stood, grimacing when the movement caused more pain to shoot through his back and shoulder blade. For a moment he welcomed the thought of passing out, but decided against it. More pressing matters, and all that.

"Walk," the alien ordered, pushing Harper forward with it's gun.

"Is that necessary?" Harper questioned, and received another push. "Fine. Going."

The direction the aliens were heading led away from Engineering and Harper couldn't help but wonder-- with a small sense of pride -- just how much damage his little explosion had caused, and of course how much Rommie was going to kill him when she found out. That is, if he didn't bleed to death first. "So, uh, where we goin'?" he asked. "'Cause I was thinkin' I should I swing by Med Deck..."

Harper got another shove from the alien that caused him to lose his footing and stumble forward onto the deck. Before he had a chance to get to his feet, there was a loud explosion from a nearby corridor which caused that section of the ship to shudder violently. The surprised aliens were knocked off balance and joined Harper on the deck. Knowing it was a stupid move and probably wouldn't work, Harper decided to take the chance and make another attempt at escaping.

Not wasting any time, Harper ignored the pain his whole body was in and pulled himself up. The shock was wearing off and no matter how easy the aliens were to kill, Harper knew he was in no condition for another fight. Kicking the nearest alien in it's face as he ran past -- briefly thwarting its attempt to get up -- Harper ran through Andromeda's darkened corridors towards the Command Deck. He hadn't gotten very far when he heard the unmistakable sound of angry aliens in pursuit. Busy concentrating on where he was going and what he would do when he got there, Harper failed to notice, as he was passing the hanger deck, that the door to hanger bay four partially opened, and Beka came running out at top speed. Unable to stop herself in time she crashed into Harper with full force, knocking them back onto the mist covered deck.

Several things happened then. The aliens, having had a chance to catch up with Harper, decided that the humans were more trouble than they were prepared to handle. Deciding to finally solve that problem they surrounded Beka and Harper and raised their weapons to fire just as a second explosion erupted from inside hanger bay. The aliens braced themselves against the bulkhead while the force knocked Beka and Harper back and both were tossed roughly into the wall. Almost immediately the lights in the corridor flickered and Andromeda's main power came back online. The distant whining of the ship's engines powering up echoed through the corridor and the sudden illumination blinded the aliens long enough for Beka to make a move for the nearest alien's gun. In seconds, all three aliens lay dead with fresh smoldering holes in various parts of their bodies.

"Damn, Bek!" Harper said, relieved and very impressed.

"The Beka is good!" Beka stated, wiping blood away from her split lip. "Whoa, Harp, you look like crap," she added seeing her bloodied engineer slumped on the deck.

"No kidding," he said, running a hand through his blonde spikes. "When this is all over with, I think we should line the corridors with soft fluffy cushions."

"Yeah," Beka said, recalling all the times she had been thrown about the ship. "Where's Tyr?"

"He's...taking a nap."

Beka shook her head disapprovingly. "Sedative?"

"Ceiling grate to the head, actually."

"Really? How'd that happen?"

"I sort of blew-up Engineering," Harper said somewhat embarrassed.

"What for?"

"Well, I didn't do it on purpose, did I?" Harper said defensively. "It was an accident."

Beka scoffed. "Harper, everything with you is an accident."

"Hey, excuse me," Harper said irritated. He was already feeling edgy and Beka had struck a nerve. "I've been the one running around this ship for hours trying to save you people from ridiculous aliens and creepy mist. I'm tired and I'm hungry. My head is killing me. My entire body feels like I've just spent a two week holiday in a Nietzschean 'fun camp' playing Last Kludge Standing. This whole night, I've been felt up, drugged up, and shot up. I've been having mad hallucinations about purple frogs and annoying Nightsiders. I probably have a concussion. And on top of everything else," Harper choked up. "I broke my yo-yo. So, is it so unreasonable to ask that you cut me some freakin' slack? Besides, hello," he pointed to the hanger bay. "What the hell have you been doing? And how the HELL did you get untied?"

Beka, who was only half listening to Harper's whining, went to the hanger bay door -- which had shut itself when the ship's power was restored -- and attempted to open it. When neither the door nor Andromeda's AI responded to her demand, Beka turned her attention back to Harper, who had started mumbling something about being invisible.

"Hey, genius, think you can get this door open?"

"What?"

"The door. It's locked, and the AI must still be offline."

"Or ignoring you." Harper said bitterly.

"Will you just open it...please?"

"Fine," Harper sighed and attempted to stand up.

Since Harper was having trouble moving, Beka went to his side to help. "What happened to you?" she asked, noticing the wound on his left shoulder.

"Got shot." Harper informed sardonically.

"Uh-huh. I can see that."

"Then why'd you ask?" Harper snapped harshly.

"Snarly," Beka muttered, suppressing a smile and wrapped her arm around Harper's waist.

Instinctively, Harper pulled away, uncomfortable with the close contact. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Beka said, innocently. "Just thought you might need help."

"Yeah? Well, sorry, boss. It's not that I don't appreciate your oh-so-sudden concern for my well-being, but I can walk just fine. Actually," he considered. "My legs are about the only part of my body that don't have physical injuries."

"Ooh," Beka raised an eyebrow. "Care to elaborate on that?"

Harper would have come back with a quippy retort or an innuendo of his own, but the suggestive tone of Beka's voice reminded him of their earlier make-out session, which to him, had felt oddly wrong. Deciding he could sort out his feelings later, Harper put all thoughts on the matter aside, and went to the hanger door. He pulled the lead wire from his pocket and plugged one end of it into his dataport and the other into the control panel.

The mundane task of unlocking the door should have only taken the engineer mere seconds, however Harper was far from his best and it was nearly a minute before the hanger door opened -- revealing a mess Harper guessed would take weeks to clean up. Smoke and dust hung in the air, metal debris littered the scorched deck, and pieces of shrapnel were now embedded into parts of the overhead, deck and bulkheads. In the middle of the room, Harper's eyes landed on the source of all the chaos. Or, rather, both sources. Slipping his trusty wire back into his pocket, Harper followed Beka into the hanger bay.

"So," he said taking another glance around the large room. "You blew-up the alien ships."

"Yup," Beka answered happily; admiring her handiwork.

"...Why?" Harper asked, kicking at piece of rubbish. "We could've accessed their ship's databanks and found out more about our guests and what they were doing here."

"I had to do something," Beak said. "So they wouldn't escape!"

"Who?"

"The aliens!"

"Beka, the aliens are dead..."

"They're not going get away with it," Beka said flatly.

"With what? Being dead?"

"What?" Beka asked confused. "Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"Do you?" Harper said, completely lost. "Did you see one of the aliens alive or something?"

"Well, no, but how else can you explain the missing bodies?"

"Which missing bodies?"

"All of them!"

"Are missing?"

"Yes!"

"...Huh?"

"Geez Harper," Beka sighed. "What kind of a genius can't follow a simple conversation."

"I'm not sure this could qualify as a conversation, Beka," Harper replied. "And in no way, is it simple."

"OK," Beka slowly began. "All of the dead aliens -- the ones Tyr and Rommie killed, the ones you killed, even your buddy Reprah," she pointed to the corner of the room, where Harper's very dead hostage had been. "Gone!"

"What?" Harper said, moving to inspect the relatively undamaged area. "But...he...it was dead. It was! Had a big hole through it's chest and everything!"

"I did that!" Beka stated proudly.

"Dead people don't just vanish," Harper went on. "Not unless..."

"Unless?" Beka questioned.

"Unless...they're zombies!"

Beka rolled her eyes. "Harper, that is probably the stupidest thing I have heard anyone say - _ever_!"

"Hey, it's a freaky-ass universe we play in, Beks, stuff like that could happen." Harper stated and headed back out into the corridor to check on the three corpus'.

Beka followed and wasn't surprised to find that the bodies had disappeared. "See?"

"What the hell," Harper said. "But they were just here!"

"Which kind of supports my 'they aren't dead' theory."

"...Or my zombie theory," Harper replied.

"We should head back to Command," Beka said. "I'm sureTrance knows something about all of this weirdness."

"Maybe, but I'd rather not be around Trance until she's back to normal," Harper said a little reluctantly.

"She seemed fine to me. Besides, she said this mist isn't affecting her."

"Oh, yeah, 'cause she always used to put her hands down my pants."

"Trance put her hands down your pants?"

"Well, no. But, she tried..."

"Front or back?" Beka asked curiously.

"Does it matter? Trance wouldn't do that!"

"You know, Harper," Beka said. "If Trance hasn't show a romantic interest in you before, it doesn't necessarily mean she didn't want to."

"Why do you say that? Has she said something?" Harper asked hopefully.

"No," Beka said and hesitated before continuing. "Harper...have you ever looked at someone you've known for a while, like a friend, and suddenly seen them in a whole different way?"

"...Like naked?"

"No, not what I meant," Beka sighed. "Look, sometimes there are these...moments, something that happens, and it makes you look at someone differently. It's like you see a side of them, or of yourself, that maybe you didn't notice was there before. And you realize that your feelings for this person have changed, and maybe you want more... Do you know what I'm talking about, Harper?"

_'Yes,'_ Harper thought, He understood perfectly, but he couldn't quite believe it. He looked up at Beka, remembering the way she had kissed him. "I don't think we should talk about this now," he said uncomfortably. _'It was better when she was trying to kill me.'_ "We should get to Tyr."

Beka nodded in agreement and they headed toward the engineering section in silence. Upon arriving, Harper was both relieved and worried to find the Nietzschean still out cold.

"He doesn't look good," Beka stated.

Harper frowned. "He needs medical attention."

"I'll get Trance," Beka offered.

"There's not much she can do at the moment," Harper sighed. "This is my fault."

"Don't be so dramatic," Beka said. "Tyr's tough, Harper, I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Do you think you can get him to Command by yourself?"

"Command? He needs to be in Medical."

"Beka, it's time for this crap to end," Harper said. "I have a plan to make that happen, but I need you, and everyone else on Command. Can you do it?"

"Tyr's a big guy, but I think I can handle him,' Beka concluded. "What will you be doing?"

"I have a few things to pick up then I'll meet you there," Harper said, digging his forcelance out from under some of the debris.

"This plan of yours," Beka said. "Is it going to work?"

"It's a Harper plan," Harper stated, which did nothing to reassure Beka.

"Great, so all of this will probably end with our horrible and violent deaths!"

"Now who's being dramatic?" Harper smirked. "Just get to Command and make sure everyone stays there," he added and headed off to one of his machine shops.

Beka watched him go then began trying to move the unconscious Nietzschean.

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	12. Chapter 12

So, I was going through some old boxes the other day and I found a disc that had this, the final chapter to the story on it. I was very excited to find it as I began writing this like three years ago. I always meant to finish this story but my old computer crashed and I lost everything and though I tried to rewrite it, my heart wasn't in it anymore. I didn't realize that I had this saved to a disc the whole time. I would love to be able to rewrite this whole story and do a **lot** of editing, but it is as it is. Thank you to all the wonderful people who reviewed, even when it hadn't been updated in so long. I doubt many of you are still on here, but if you are I am so sorry to keep you waiting. So, here it is, the LONG awaited conclusion to Nerves. I'm not 100% satisfied with the way it turned out, but I did my best with it and hope you enjoy it. Please review if you like it and let me know.

**Chapter 12:**

.

A little while later, Harper arrived on the Command Deck. Beka sat against a workstation watching Trance, who was busy looking over Tyr.

"How is he?" Harper asked, moving to get a better look at Tyr.

"Heavy!" Beka answered dryly.

"He should be conscious soon," Trance said looking at Harper with a smile. "It's sweet of you to be so concerned for him."

"Well, the big guy did save my life," Harper said nonchalantly. "Besides, if Tyr died, they'd just bring in some other Neitzschean to replace him, and who knows what kind of a poncy kiss-ass _that_ guy would be."

"Uh-huh," Beka said, not having the slightest idea what Harper was talking about, or who_ 'they' _were. "So, what did you have to do that was so important you made me lug Anasazi up here all by myself?"

"Oh, that," Harper said, pulling a hypo-spray from his tool belt. "I've got a present for you lovely ladies."

"And that would be?" Beka asked.

"Modified nano-inhibitor."

Beka and Trance frowned.

"Not the best way into a girl's heart, Seamus, " Beka said with disappointment. "Who is it for exactly?"

"Us," Harper said, tossing the injector to Beka. "I already injected myself," he winked. "Your turn."

"You used this?" Trance said concerned taking the injector from Beka to inspect it. "How do you feel?"

"Well...sorta numb, actually" Harper said poking himself in the arm. "Which is okay because now I don't hurt so much. I'm a little nauseous, I've got a mother of a headache - and for some reason my left eye keeps twitching. But other than that..."

"Not the best sales pitch either," Beka said, taking the injector from Trance and tossing it back to Harper.

"Well, I bet only some of that stuff is related to the inhibitor," Harper said defensively. "I was kind of in a rush, but I'm sure it's safe," he said crouching next to Tyr and injecting the him. "See? He's not complaining," Harper smiled and offered a hypo once again to Trance.

"Thanks, but I don't need it," Trance argued. "I told you, I'm fine."

"Yeah," Beka said, moving to join the group. "Me, too."

"Then you don't have anything to worry about," Harper said, flashing Trance and Beka an adorable grin. "Just trust me."

"Fine," Beka said. Giving in a little too easily, Harper thought. "Hand it over."

"No," Trance said, grabbing the hypo from Harper's hand and moving away from the blond captain. "Harper wants _me_ to go first!"

"I don't give a rats ass who goes first," Harper said harshly. "Just take the damn thing!"

"Well, not if you're going to be like that," Trance said angrily and threw the hypo-spray at Harper, hitting him in the head.

"TRANCE," Harper yelled, nursing his latest injury. "What the hell!"

"You have never appreciated me, Seamus Zelazny Harper," Trance stated, sinking to the floor and dissolving into a fit of tears.

Harper watched her, in shock. "What just happened?" he asked turning to Beka, confused.

"She's completely lost it," Beka said picking up the injector and studying it. "Want me to tie her up again?"

"Maybe later,." Harper responded halfheartedly. "Hey, wait a minute," he said looking around the room and for the first time noticed something missing - someone.

"Where is Rommie?"

"Dunno," Beka said dully. "She was gone when I got here."

"Dammit," Harper swore in frustration. "It's never easy!"

"Eww," Beka cringed. "Don't quote Dylan, Harper. It's unattractive."

"You're the one who's made out with him..._twice_," Harper teased.

"Jealous?"

"Nah," Harper smirked. "He's not really my type."

Trance stopped sobbing and scoffed. "That's great," she said sarcastically. "You two are making jokes while I'm over here crying," she said tearing up again. "Golden girls need love too!"

"Of course they do, sweetie," Beka said, sitting down next to Trance and wrapping a comforting arm around her. "Harper just has a lot on his mind right now."

"Yeah! _Rommie_," Trance said sadly. "_Always_ Rommie. I miss the old days. When it was just us three and Rev- on the Maru."

"Yeah, me too." Beka agreed.

"I miss Rev." Trance said, resting her head on Beka's shoulder. "I wish he was still here."

"Me, too," Beka sighed.

"And I miss my tail," Trance squeaked and buried her face in her hands.

"Me, too." Harper said sadly, sitting on the other side of Trance and silently instructing Beka to inject the golden woman.

"_Humph_!" Holo-Rommie appeared in front of the trio, frowning in disapproval. "I didn't realize you three were so unhappy. Well, at the first convenient time, you're all

welcome to leave."

"ANDROMEDA!" Harper said, startled by the holograms sudden appearance. "Why the hell didn't you tell us you were back online?"

"You didn't ask," the AI responded. "We have a problem."

"What, another one?" Beka said.

"You were wondering about my avatar's location," holo-Rommie directed to Harper. "It is no longer on board."

"What?"

"She left in the Eureka Maru approximately fifteen minutes ago."

"She took my ship?" Beka asked angrily. "Why does everybody steal my ship?..."

"Why didn't you stop her?" Harper asked.

"I tired," the hologram sad bitterly. "And if _someone_ had not programed her with independent control, I would have."

"_...Seriously_," Beka mumbled to herself. "You'd think by now I would have installed some tighter security protocols."

"Well, do you at least know where she was going?" Harper asked Andromeda ignoring Beka's sulking.

"No," Andromeda said flatly, appearing onscreen.

"Aquafina Drift," Trance said quietly.

Andromeda looked at Trance inquisitively, "And why would my avatar want to go to a tourist trap like Aquafina Drift? Surely Harper didn't program it with his bad taste as well."

Harper's eye's got wide. "Oh, no! The pageant."

"Pageant?" Beka questioned.

"She's going to blow it up," Trance informed.

"The pageant?"

Trance shook her head slowly. "The _whole_ drift."

"Perfect," Harper sighed.

"Relax," Beka said. "Rommie may have been able to fly the Maru out of the hanger bay, but she still can't navigate slipstream. She's not going anywhere," Beka stated matter-of-factly.

"Rommie thought of that too," Trance said. "That's why she made _him_ go with her."

"Who-" Harper started to ask, then realized that someone other than Rommie was missing from Command. "Dylan!"

"Trance, why didn't you say something earlier?"

"Well, I was going to," Trance said innocently. "But then Harper started being mean again, and I got so upset that I just... forgot."

"Right," Harper said uncomfortably. "Well, mea culpa. But I promise to make it up to you later, babe - anyway you'd like," he said suggestively causing Trance to blush.

Beka rolled her eyes, "OK, that's enough. I want my ship back. Harper, please tell me you fixed the slip drive."

"Harper finished most of the repairs several hours ago," the AI cut in. "My bots are still working on minor damage, but we are slipstream capable."

"That's all I'll need to hear," Beka stated confidently and moved to the pilots station. "We've been here long enough."

"Whoa, whoa, hold on," Harper said. "_Who_ has been the one running around saving this ship and _your_ asses all night? That's right, _me_! _I'm_ supposed to be the hero of this story, and now, just becuase you're not homicidal anymore, you think you can swoop in, go all Dylanesque and steal my thunder. No freakin' way!"

"Beka's not trying to 'steal your thunder' Harper," holo-Rommie said, materializing next to the engineer. "I'm sure she just wants to prevent innocent people from being harmed."

"Oh please," Harper said. "She just wants to get to the Maru before _it_ is harmed."

Beka nodded in agreement. "That's true."

The AI frowned, unimpressed. "Either way, we have to get out of this nebula."

"Yes, we do. Although it's not technically a nebula," Harper corrected.

"No?" Beka said. "What is it then?"

Harper hesitated before answering knowing how ridiculous it would sound. "It's a giant cloud made up of multi-purpose nanites that were left behind by that enemy ship and, as far a I can tell, meant to infiltrate the ship, take over it's systems, mess with our minds until we go crazy and kill each other so the freaky-pale-scientist-things could come aboard without resistance and have their freaky way with my Andromeda."

"Oh..."

"OK, I know it sounds a little paranoid..." Harper said. "_But_, I've been thinking about it all night and I think I worked it out."

"He's right," holo-Rommie cut in. "At least about the nanites." she added. "Shortly after we entered the cloud the nanites invaded my system and began corrupting my core personality. By the time I had detected their presents they had already taken over a large portion of my matrix and I was unable to stop them from hijacking my personality."

"It's not your fault Andromeda," Trance said kindly. "None of us knew what was happening."

The hologram smiled. "Thank you, Trance, but I have a redundant number of firewalls and precautions to protect me from this kind of intrusion," She frowned. "It should not have happened. The only reason they did not succeed in completely overtaking my systems is because of a fail-safe Harper installed some time ago."

"Fail-safe?" Beka looked at Harper.

"Once the nanites corruption of my systems reached fifty percent the fail-safe activated, essentially shutting me down while I underwent a complete system sweep. Luckily, it worked and although there is still quite a bit of damage, most of my programing has been restored and it looks like all of the nanites have been destroyed."

"Except the ones on board," Beka reminded.

Andromeda nodded. "I believe they are dormant for the time being, but they could reactivate at any moment. I'd rather they not be on board when that happens."

"Venting the atmosphere should take care of that," Harper stated. "Everywhere but Command of course. And once the little bastards are sucked back into space, we'll fire an electromagnetic pulse at the cloud and fry their asses. "

"Good plan," Beka said, ready to get it over with. "What are we waiting for?"

"It might not be that simple," Harper said. "We still don't know what happened to the dead aliens and for all we know there are more of them on the other side of this cloud waiting to take us out as soon as we emerge."

"Time is running out Harper, we have to risk it." Beka stated.

"I'm not detecting anything on my censors," The AI said. "If there are more ships out there, I can't see them."

"Alright, Beka, take us out." Harper said. "I'll get to work on that EM pulse."

"Yes, sir," Beka said preparing the ship to leave the nano-nebula.

...

**On the Maru**

.

"Fly faster," Rommie growled, poking a stiff finger at her hostage's neck.

"You're hurting me again," Dylan said sadly. He had several cuts on his face from being smacked around by the android and one of his eyes was starting to swell. The avatar had bound him to the Maru's pilot chair using his sheet-cape to tie him up and he was very uncomfortable. "I demand you tell me where we're going and what you mean to do when we get there."

"Will you shut up," Rommie snapped, hitting the back of his head. "You're in no position to demand anything from me, _Ratman_."

"BATMAN!"

"Whatever," Rommie replied. "Just follow the coordinates I gave you and we should be there any minute."

"Just so you know," Dylan started "Whatever you're planning, my Dick will stop you."

"Excuse me!" Rommie said shocked.

"Dick!" Dylan said again. "My sidekick..._Robin_. You may have left him back on that other ship, but he'll find and rescue me."

"Oh..." Rommie laughed. "Yes, well, I'm not worried either way." She had after all seen her captain in the shower many times and knew that it was not as impressive as

he liked to let on.

A familiar beeping rang on the comm indicating they had reached their destination and the ship exited slipstream bringing the drift into view.

"Where are we?" Dylan asked.

"Aquafina Drift."

"Wow," Dylan said in awe. "What is it?"

"It's one of the oldest drifts in the galaxy." Rommie replied. "They don't make them like this anymore. It's actually the last of it's kind. A relic."

"Neato," Dylan said impressed.

"Yeah." Rommie said. "Now call them and tell them that we're going to blow them up."

"WHAT?"

"On second thought, no warnings," Rommie said calmly. "As soon as we get into range, lock on target and shoot everything this heap of junk has at it."

"I won't do it," Dylan stated "There are innocent people on the drift."

"There are bigots on that drift," Rommie corrected. "They need to be taught a lesson."

"You can't make me!"

"All right then" Rommie said cutting Dylan free from the chair.

"Thank you," the captain said relieved.

"Move," the avatar yelled back and shoved him off of the chair and he fell awkwardly to the side hitting his head on the railing.

"In weapons range now," Rommie said happily and began to fire.

Three missiles hit the lower section of the drift exploding on impact. The Maru's comm beeped and an image of a middle aged man appeared on screen.

"I am Hyot-Ty, head of security on Aquafina Drift. Stand down immediately or you will be shot down."

"I am Rommie, and this is Batman" the android mocked "I am the avatar of the war ship Andromeda and we don't approve of this drifts policies on Android-rights."

"Actually, I don't care either way," Dylan said.

"Shut up."

"The actions that you and your companion have taken against this drift are unacceptable." Hyot-Ty said. "We have scanned your ship and no weapons on board are capable of destroying Aquafina. Stand down!"

Rommie cut the comms and the screen went black. With a sudden jolt the Maru shot forward heading for the center of the drift.

"What are you doing?" Dylan asked trying to stand up.

"Setting the Maru's slip drive to overload," Rommie said adjusting the engine settings from the console. A few seconds later a red lights flashed and a warning siren went off in the cabin. "That should do it," she added focusing her attention back on flying the ship.

"You're going to crash the ship into the drift? But that will kill us."

"Most definitely," Rommie said. "We'll die gloriously, in the pursuit of justice."

"But I don't want to die," Dylan whined.

"Well, you should have thought about that before you got on board." Rommie said, dodging incoming missiles from the drift.

"You kidnapped me!" Dylan reminded her holding onto the rails.

"You can go out the airlock if you'd like, but either way, you're going to die in the next few minutes..."

...

.

The Andromeda ripped through slipstream, shaking roughly as Beka tried her best to keep it steady. Sleepiness and a concussion did nothing to help her piloting skills.

"I hope we get there before Rommie does something really stupid." Trance said softly, gripping the console in front of her for support.

"I think we're all long, _long_ past that point," said Tyr who had just regained consciousness and was examining the tattered dress he wore with a confused and horrified look on his face. "Someone is going to die for this," he said in a slow, soft voice.

"Don't look at me," Harper said. "You wanted to wear it."

"It looks good on you, Tyr." Beka said amused. "Of course, you owe me a new dress now."

Before the Neitzschean could respond the Andromeda exited slipstream and sped toward Aquafina Drift. Three small explosions hit the lower section of the drift as it came into view, fired from the Maru.

"They're firing back," The AI said appearing on screen next to the image of the drift. "It looks like my avatar is on a kamikaze run. The Maru is headed straight for the drift."

"Over my dead body," Beka said. "Andromeda, hail the drift and explain the situation."

The AI nodded in acknowledgment.

"Beka, she's overloaded the slip drive on the Maru," Harper said from his console. "It going to explode."

"Oi, Pretty In Pink," Beka said to Tyr who was trying his best not to be noticed. "Get ready to deploy bucky cables. Harper head down to the hanger bay and get on board the Maru as soon as it's docked and stop the overload. Take Trance with you to administer the nano-inhibitor."

...

**On the Maru**

**.  
**

The Maru's comms beeped again and Harper appeared on screen. "Rommie, stop!"

"Harper!" Rommie called excited.

"My loyal Dick," Dylan said from behind the pilots chair. "I knew you'd come."

"What you call me?" Harper asked confused. "Never mind. Rom-doll, we're about to bucky you and drag the Maru back on board the Andromeda."

"That wouldn't be wise," Rommie said unconcerned. "We're about to explode."

"Yes, and we'll all die if you don't stop the overload." Harper warned.

"Then we'll all die in a blaze of pretty pretty lights," Rommie said.

"YOU," Harper yelled at Dylan,"Do something! _Stop_ her, now!"

"I cannot. She's too strong for this Caped Crusader." Dylan said. "There has never been a more worthy foe."

"You're a moron!" Harper said annoyed.

"Deploying bucky cables," Tyr cut in for the command deck.

"NO!" Rommie called trying to avoid the buckys as well as the missiles being fired at the ship. A passing missile grazed the hull of the Maru and exploded causing the ship to jerk violently knocking Rommie out of the chair giving the bucky cables a chance to latch onto the ship's hull.

"I got them." Tyr said with pride.

"Harper?" Beka said.

"We're ready," Harper replied from outside the hanger bay. On the monitor in front of him he could still see what was happening on the Maru. Rommie was not pleased at all and was taking her unhappiness out on Dylan, who had started to tear up from the abuse. As amused as Harper was with the scene he remembered that the Maru was possibly seconds away from exploding and after everything he had been through, he wasn't too keen on dying.

"Harper," Trance said nervously. "I..."

"Now is not the time to have that conversation, Trance." He cut her off.

She nodded.

"They're in," Tyr told Harper over the comm. "Go now! I will not die here... in a _dress_."

"You're welcome to take it off," Beka told him, smirking.

Inside the hanger bay Harper and Trance raced to the Maru airlock and opened it. Dylan ran out passed them looking terrified and Rommie following after him with murder in her artificial eyes. Trance turned to follow both with the hypo-spray for Dylan in hand. Harper rushed to the engine room on the Maru and entered in the commands to stop the overload merely seconds before it went critical. Relieved he fell to the deck and closed his eyes. The cold metal on his back soothed his aching body and he was more than ready to get the sleep he wanted when he laid down in is quarters all those hours ago. He had done quite enough and was perfectly fine with letting the others sort out Rommie and Dylan.

"Harper," Andromeda said over the comm. "Trance has administered the nano-inhibitor to Dylan had given him a sedative. I need you to help shut down my avatar and remove the alien nanobots affecting it's systems."

Reluctantly, Harper got up and made his way to up the now mist free corridors. He still had more work to do before we could finally get to sleep.

...

.

Harper had planned on staying in bed for days, and the crew understood to leave him alone, however he had too many questions that he wanted answers to and was unable to get more than a few hours sleep. Still after everything that had happened those few hours were like Heaven.

Dragging himself out of bed he dressed and headed to the Med Deck where he would hopefully find Trance.

He had not forgotten the state he had left it in and was surprised when he arrived to find that most of the mess had been cleaned up. Trance was in the process of removing a broken view screen from the wall as he entered.

"You should have waited, I was going to clean this up for you," Harper said embarrassed.

"It's nothing," Trance said not wanting to face him. She wasn't sure what to say to him after what had happened between them.

"I have to ask you something," he started.

Trance shifted, still avoiding looking at the human.

"How come the nanobots didn't affect me the way they did everyone else?" Harper asked.

Trance looked at him for the first time. "Oh.." she said sounding relieved. "Well, I can't say for sure..."

"Guess."

"OK," she said. "It might have something to do with all the chemicals in your body at the time."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she started. "You hadn't had much food or sleep lately and from what I gather you were pretty much running on Sparky Cola and adrenaline. I don't think the nanobots could take over your mind the way they did with everyone else because your mind was already out of it."

"Wouldn't that make me more susceptible to their influence?" Harper asked.

"Not necessarily. It depends on the mind, and as you like to remind us, you've got a pretty good one."

Harper smiled at the complement even if he thought it was BS.

"You mentioned that you were having visions," Trance said

"I saw Gerentex mostly, and some purple frogs." Harper grunted.

"You mentioned that the aliens injected you with some sort of drug. Was this before or after you started having the visions?"

"Gerentex before, frogs after."

"Well, the frog are easy then," Trance said. "Like I said you already had a bad mix of caffeine and by that point you had stupidly taken the dextroamphetamine which clearly reacted badly to the drug the aliens injected you with causing hallucinations."

"And Gerentex?" Harper asked.

"I guess he was just a manifestation that your mind conjured up to get you through it all." Trance said unsure.

"He said things," Harper told her. "He tried to get me to kill everyone. Are you saying that came from me?"

"Maybe," Trance said. "None of us are stupid Harper. We all know how it was for you growing up on Earth and we know you must have done some pretty violent things to survive." Harper looked uncomfortable, but she went on. "It's not something you talk about and we don't ask...We don't want to know, but we know that part of you is still in there. I've seen it, and it's frightening... But it is possible that your subconscious took the form of Gerentex, because it _didn't _want you to do those things and knew that if they came from someone you hated, like Gerentex, that you would resist."

"That seems a little out there, Trance."

"I know," she said. "But it's the best I've got."

"Can I ask you one other thing?" Harper asked not sure he wanted the answer.

Trance nodded.

"That thing you did to me...with me, with the light and everything. What the hell was that? I have never felt like that before. It was... _amazing_."

"Harper, I don't think I should..."

"Trance, please."

"Very well," Trance sighed. "It's how my species..._reproduces_."

"Reproduces?" Harper repeated shocked. "...As in, it's how you have sex?"

"Yes."

Harper fell silent. "I'm not really sure what to do with that Trance."

"There's something else," Trance said nervously. "When I say that it's how my species reproduces, I mean that it's _only_ meant for that purpose."

"What are you saying, Trance." Harper questioned. "Are you pregnant?"

"There's more" Trance added not making eye contact. "With my species, once the mating has taken place...it's the males who conceive and carry the child."

Harper's eyes got wide. "No, I'm not...I mean, I can't...I have to go." He quickly left the med deck and headed down the corridor passing Dylan on his way out.

As he left holo-Rommie appeared in front of a now smiling Trance. "You do realize that no matter how_ your _species reproduces, as a human male Harper is physically incapable of becoming pregnant?" she asked.

"Of course," Trance said with a laugh. "And Harper knows that too and he'll realize it soon. In the mean time, I thought I'd have a bit of fun with him."

The hologram shrugged and disappeared.

At the door to the med deck Dylan stood looking in at his golden crew mate amused. He had come to have her check the stitches in his forehead from Rommie's beating and had heard the conversation between Trance and Harper. What a mystery his crew was to him and for the first time he didn't seem to mind that he didn't know every detail of their lives. He was just glad to have them, antics and all.

"What are you doing," Tyr said coming up the hall. He was no longer sporting a dress but had changed back into his usual leather pants and mesh top.

"Just going for a run," Dylan lied. "Care to join?"

"No," Tyr responded. "I was looking for the little professor."

"He just left," Dylan said taking his eyes off of Trance and looking at Tyr for the first time. He noticed that Tyr was holding a teddy bear, with a red bow and card attached. "What's that?" he asked trying to make out the writing on card.

"Something I found it in my quarters, leave it at that" Tyr responded and turned to leave.

As he walked away Dylan couldn't help but notice the hint of hot pick tong peaking out of the top of Tyr's leather pants.

Yep, he was glad to have them.

.

The End.


End file.
